The Meaning of Strife
by MoiraCalhounx1377
Summary: Set a few years in the future, Massie Block and the Pretty Committee are sophomores and still ruling the social scene. Then Abby Boyd's mysterious younger sister shows up...but is she really all that she seems to be?
1. Chapter 1

**_Here's my super-long author's note that you can skip if you want, but don't blame me if you miss something in it that you might find important. : - ) I pretty much copied it from CoolFolk, my friend's and my website, where The Meaning of Strife is also posted. This program isn't letting me type out the URL for CoolFolk, but you can go to my profile and click on the link there to visit our site...yes, I take every opportunity possible to promote CoolFolk. lol..._**

**_The Meaning if Strife is an unfinished story, and therefore it runs the risk of being stopped and/or called off at any moment without further notice. If you're an author, you'll understand that no one can finish every single story they start. I have started putting chapters of The Meaning of Strife on Fan Fiction. net because I feel that the story has progressed enough for it to be revealed._**

**_I apologize in advance if I ever decide to stop writing this story and warn you that I may not take action upon petitions to continue. In other words, I'm the one who decides whether I stop or not. _**

**_A common disclaimer for fanfiction: I do not own the Clique or any of the characters. That right is entitled only to Lisi Harrison and any of her such associates. _**

**_Many of the preliminary ideas for The Meaning of Strife were inspired by a story I read on Fan Fiction .net called Out with the Old, In with the New, by a certain person on Fan Fiction .net whose pen name is HPgirl008. In her profile, she says her name is "Akira Rosalina wanttobe Hotz butgottobe Robinson." (Things like that make me laugh...it's not like I'm going around proclaiming that I want my last name to be Hyuga. ) I thought I should credit her, even though I do not know who she is/have never met her in my life. _**

**_I warn you of the inconsistencies of my chapter lengths!! _**

**_Please do not clamber all over me demanding new chapters. I'd rather have you hate the story; I do not work well on long-term projects under pressure. _**

**_Please DO email me with as many reviews as you'd like!! I am appreciative of all praise and derogation as long as you are not physically hurting me. Ideas for plot line are welcome, as well, though I cannot guarantee that I will incorporate your suggestions into the actual story. _**

**_And lastly, but most certainly not leastly, I would like to give a big thank you to ZaneLover0511 for going over my writing with me and giving me ideas. _**

**_Alrighty, then, that's most certainly enough of my blathering. I hope I didn't put you to sleep...A sincere thank you if you actually read all of that!! Most of it was a bunch of formalities, but as a fanfiction author, I feel that I have an obligation to include said formalities. Okay, I will shut up now. Enjoy the story!!_**

**_--MC_**

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**BLOCK ESTATE  
MASSIE'S BEDROOM**

**Wednesday, August 29th**

**7: 00 am**

Massie Block woke up on the first day of her sophomore year at Augustian Day High with a smile on her face. As much as she hated teachers, classes, and homework, she loved boys, gossip, and ruling the social scene. It just wasn't the same in the summer, and she was looking forward to school. Plus, she would have a way to see Chris Abeley, her boyfriend, every day without seeming desperate.

Massie rolled out of bed and admired her fifteen-year-old self in front of her full-body mirror. She had changed a lot from seventh grade; her legs were longer, she'd had a chest growth spurt and was now finally a C-cup, and her brown hair was mid-back length and slightly crimped from sleep. But in some ways, she hadn't changed at all. Her amber eyes gazed out from the mirror with the same queen-like light.

She had one hour to shower, dress, do her makeup, hair and meet Isaac downstairs. After fifteen minutes in a steaming shower and a thorough brushing and flossing, Massie put on the outfit she had laid out for herself last night. If there was one thing that had changed since she had been in seventh grade, it was fashion. Massie looked in the mirror again and admired her Marc Jacobs mid-thigh-length, off-the-shoulder dress in fireweed and burgundy and Manolo Blahnik knee-high black leather boots.

But after a moment her admiration turned to disgust at how much she looked like a hooker. She might have been able to pull the look off if she had been in seventh grade, but with her summer-tanned legs and newfound cleavage, it was just not classy.

Ripping open her closet doors, Massie shed the dress and kicked off the boots. She grabbed a short-sleeved emerald-and-teal Chloe empire waist top and the latest black Sevens, but she decided that they made her look fat, or at least made her look as if she thought she looked fat. She threw the dark jeans back in the closet and settled for thigh-hugging light wash Diesels.

Finally pleased with her outfit, Massie sat down at her vanity and brushed out her hair before drying and crimping it at the bottoms so that it was slightly wavy. She left it at that, because long, free hair was the innest look at the moment. She carefully made up her face and threw a few touch-up tools and lip gloss tubes into her Louis Vuitton messenger bag, along with her new school supplies.

Massie slid her feet into blue Dolce & Gabbana slip-ons with four-inch heels, but decided that she didn't want to be elevated to a height of five ten and opted for strappy silver Jimmy Choo kitten-heeled sandals. Then, realizing she needed a necklace, Massie fastened a diamond pendant around her neck.

Finally she headed downstairs, where Inez had a breakfast feast laid out for her. Massie only had a piece of toast and a tangerine, though, before she rushed out to the Range Rover. Yes, this was the same Range Rover that Isaac had been driving since Massie was in fifth grade. Massie had come to love the faithful car and its equally loyal driver and couldn't bear to part with them.

She stood outside the car and tapped her foot until Claire Lyons hurried towards her from the guesthouse in multicolored layered tank tops, a denim miniskirt, and black-and-white pumas. No matter how much time passed, Claire's fashion sense didn't change. It was still rather lame, Massie thought. But Claire she looked really good (for Claire) with subtle makeup artistically applied to her face and her long flaxen hair pulled into two loose braids.

"Hey," Claire said. "Sorry I'm late. Todd was throwing a fit at having to wake up early for school. You look great, by the way."

"Thanks," Massie replied, smiling. "Ready to kick tenth grade's butt?"

"Absolutely." The girls climbed into the car and Isaac set off for Kristen's. Kristen Gregory no longer lived in the trashy Brickview Apartments, but she didn't live in the Montador, either. She and her parents had relocated halfway across Westchester into White Plains. Her dad's business was flourishing and Kristen lived in a high-rise apartment at the center of the city. Massie loved being able to go to the city every time they picked Kristen up, but she hated the traffic and impatiently tapped her foot the whole time, ignoring Claire when she tried to talk.

The Range Rover finally arrived at Kristen's apartment building, and the aqua-eyed blonde was opening the car door in a flash.

"Ehmagawd!" Kristen exclaimed, sitting down next to Massie. "You'll never believe it!"

"Believe what?" Massie inquired.

"I'll tell you when Alicia and Dylan get here," Kristen said mysteriously, suddenly quelling her previous excitement.

"Come _awn_," Massie pressed, but Kristen stayed silent. Massie knew better than to argue with the stubborn streak Kristen had been developing and took the time to admire her outfit. Kristen always had clothing problems on account of her money-less-ness and super strict parents, but recently she had been rebelling more and more against her mother and father. Today she was wearing a simple light blue tank top that had blue rhinestones glued around the neckline, which brought out her eyes; dark blue pants; and shoes similar to the Dolce & Gabbanas Massie had tried on that morning. Kristen could use the extra height, though, considering she was only five feet two. Her dark blond hair was tied in two sporty low pigtails. "You look amazing, Kris," Massie said. "Blue is _so_ your color."

"Thanks," Kristen replied. "My mom almost wouldn't let me out of the apartment. She said sleeveless tops were for prostitutes. But our crazy neighbor held her up, thankfully."

Kristen went on to describe how Nigel, the old man next door, had asked for a cup of milk since he had run out of it. He had hearing problems, so he always yelled, and you had to yell back to get him to hear you. Claire laughed appreciatively at the funny parts, but Massie could only think about what Kristen was being so secretive about.

Soon they arrived at the Rivera Estate and picked up Alicia, who was looking cheery in a white and pink dress with a golden sunflower charm around her neck, matching earrings, and lace-up golden sandals. Her long black hair shone in the light and cascaded down her back.

"Kristen's got news," Massie announced the moment Alicia got into the Range Rover.

Alicia's brown eyes immediately widened; she was a major gossip-lover. "What?"

Kristen cocked her head ever more mysteriously. "I'm not telling until Dylan gets here. I want you all to hear at the same time."

The drive to Dylan's was short, though, and they barely had time to talk before the redhead hopped into the car, wearing a low-cut, knee-length dark green dress and ankle boots. Somehow she managed not to look like Peter Pan. Her hair was pulled into a high genie ponytail, the red curls swinging as she moved.

"Okay, Kristen. Spill it," Alicia demanded, once Dylan sat down.

"Spill what?" Dylan was oblivious.

"Kristen's got a secret, but she wouldn't tell us until you get here," Massie said.

Dylan looked pleased. "I'm flattered that you'd wait for me, Kris."

"No prob—" Kristen was cut off by an impatient Massie.

"Just tell us!" Massie exclaimed.

"Okay, okay." Kristen looked around at everyone, all staring at her. "Last night, I was looking through the class lists, right? And in our homeroom, there's this girl named Vanessa Boyd." Kristen paused.

Massie looked at her expectantly. "So…?"

"Think," Kristen said. "Vanessa _Boyd._"

Suddenly Claire sat up higher in her seat. "I got it!" she shouted. "Abby Boyd!"

"Hey, did you guys see her new movie?" Dylan asked. "I swear, she gets better and better—"

"Not the point!" Alicia interrupted. "Kristen, do you mean to say that this Vanessa girl in our homeroom is related to Abby Boyd?"

Kristen nodded slowly, her blue eyes triumphant. "I looked her up online, and I found out that Abby Boyd has a younger sister named Vanessa. She's our age, but Abby kept her secret and rarely talks about her to the press. No one knows why, but there are the usual theories." Kristen looked around at the Pretty Committee's wide-eyed faces. "Abby did say," she continued, "in a recent interview, that she and her younger sister were relocating to live with their aunt in Westchester. She's coming to do a movie, but she didn't say why here sister's tagging along."

"So we're getting the Boyds at our school?" Claire asked somewhat tentatively. She seemed to be remembering how Abby had befriended her and then ditched her while they were co-starring in _Dial L for Loser _when Claire was in seventh gradeClaire had stopped acting after that, but Abby had made seventeen movies since then and had won two Oscars.

"Just Vanessa," Kristen replied. "Abby's only coming so she can commute to New York each day, for her latest movie. She has a private tutor."

"_Freedom's Wind_," Dylan declared. "That's Abby's next movie. But how come my mom didn't know Abby had a sister? She knows everything about celebrities!" The redhead now seemed rather angry.

Meanwhile, Alicia was questioning Kristen. "What does this Vanessa girl look like?"

Massie was silent. If Vanessa was anything like her older sister…

It had taken Massie and the Pretty Committee almost all of their freshmen year to right all the social wrongs of their disastrous eighth grade. She really didn't need any celebrity sister to come along and undermine it all. But she had a feeling that was exactly what Vanessa was going to do.

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**_Do not expect the rest of my chapters to be anywhere near as long!! LOL, please review and thanks for reading!!_**

**_--MC_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Wow, just one chapter and two days and already I've got 78 hits and 2 reviews...keep it coming in!! Thanks so much to everyone for reading and reviewing!! LOL, here's the second chapter, which is much shorter..._**

**_--MC_**

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**AUGUSTIAN DAY HIGH SCHOOL**

**FRONT STEPS**

**Wednesday, August 29th**

**8:02 am**

Vanessa Boyd stood nervously in front of the front doors of her new high school. The front doors of the redbrick building loomed formidably in front of her. Behind the school were an emerald green soccer field and a silver tower that reminded her of the Seattle Space Needle. She had passed them while her chauffeur drove her and she had wondered what the Space Needle-tower was for.

Vanessa shook the thoughts out of her head, shifted her Gucci purse on her shoulder, pressed her notebooks and binders to her chest, and took a deep breath. She had already survived moving into Aunt Morgan's apartment at the Montador and the huge fight Abby put up over which room she got. She could totally handle a new school.

She slowly exhaled and pushed open the door. _Head high, shoulders back, eyes forward, smile,_ she reminded herself before stepping into the front hallway.

Kids milled around chatting with their friends, lockers slammed, and all the sounds of high school before homeroom filled Vanessa's ears and she strode down the hall as confidently as she could. Her plan was to get to her locker (according to her papers, it was 389) and then to homeroom (Mrs. Gallagher, room 119) as quickly as possible. She would leave the meeting people thing until lunchtime.

Vanessa surreptitiously glanced at the locker numbers with her peripheral vision, figuring out which way to go to get to 389. Before she was halfway down the hall, though, people were turning to look at her. Vanessa immediately noticed what she was doing wrong. This was a normal high school. No one walked around like a runway model, even though that was how Vanessa had been taught to walk.

_Ignore it,_ Vanessa told herself. She turned a corner and almost sighed in relief as she came upon locker 399. Ten lockers down and she would find hers. But she almost walked straight into a brunette girl and her four sidekicks.

"Hey," the girl said. She was wearing a blue and green empire waist top, light wash jeans, and silver sandals, and her amber eyes radiated confidence. Vanessa could tell immediately that this was the social queen of the high school, and suavely switched into people mode within her head.

"I'm Massie Block," the girl said, extending a manicured hand. "Vanessa Boyd, right? We heard about you starting here this year."

Vanessa's heart skipped a beat. _Damn_. _How had anyone heard about her already? Had Abby given her away in one of those stupid interviews? _But all she did was smile. "Yep, that's me."

Massie went on to introduce each of the girls behind her: Alicia Rivera, Kristen Gregory, Dylan Marvil, and Claire Lyons. "We call ourselves the Pretty Committee," Massie chuckled.

Vanessa recognized the last girl's name; Abby had acted with her in a movie a few years ago. She decided to keep quiet about it, though. "Nice to meet you all. I think I remember your names from the class lists," Vanessa said, even though she remembered nothing of the sort. "You're in my homeroom, aren't you?"

"Yeah," Massie replied. "Mrs. Gallagher, right?"

Vanessa nodded. "My locker should be right down here." She gestured down the hallway.

"We'll let you through, then. Glad we got to meet you," Massie said. "We'll see you in class." She flashed a smile that Vanessa took as a sign of her superiority before heading off with her groupies. Vanessa knew that anyone who messed with Massie would be a social outcast for life.

Vanessa finally got to her locker, opened it, and dumped everything inside except for her purse, one notebook, and one binder. She should have known that high school in New York would be no better than high school in Los Angeles.

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**_I warn you now that this is not going to be the average _Clique_ story, okay?? Other than that, thanks for reading and don't forget to review:-)_**

**_--MC_**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed!! Enjoy this chapter..._**

**_--MC_

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**AUGUSTIAN DAY HIGH SCHOOL**

**THE HALLS**

**Wednesday, August 29th**

**12:01 pm**

The girl was charming. She was beautiful. She was sweet.

Somehow, Vanessa Boyd had radiated the very image of perfection. And Massie had only had one short conversation with her.

With her iridescent raven-colored tresses cascading down her back, all the way to her perfect little butt, and her eyes almost amethyst in color, Vanessa was a different kind of beautiful than Massie was used to. She thought hair and eyes like Vanessa's would have been naturally impossible on a human being, yet they didn't seem to be dyed. Vanessa's face had seemed completely devoid of makeup, yet it was more flawless than Massie's own. She had been wearing a simple black t-shirt and a black schoolgirl skirt, possibly not even designer brand, but she looked amazing. Her long, evenly tanned legs seemed to go on for an eternity before they reached her black ballet flat-clad feet.

And there was the way she behaved. Massie could tell Vanessa had been a little nervous when she turned the corner, but once Massie started talking to her, she was nothing but suave. Any normal person wouldn't have been able to detect it, but Massie knew that she had guessed about the Pretty Committee being in her homeroom. And she had just wanted to get to her locker, so she'd said, "My locker should be right down here." And Massie had to either let her go or seem impolite.

Vanessa Boyd was a natural-born alpha. But her soft voice and sweet smile made it look like she didn't know it.

All morning, Massie had been thinking about what Vanessa could do to ruin everything Massie had worked so hard for. There was pretty much nothing to pay attention to in class, since it was the first day, but had there been, Massie wouldn't have cared. She had come up with an innovative plan. Now she just had to see it through.

Massie and the Pretty Committee headed into the cafeteria for lunch and dumped their books at table 27, their exclusive lunch table by the biggest window. Claire sat down in Cam Fisher, her boyfriend since seventh grade's lap and started kissing him. Massie wanted to vomit; no matter how many times she berated Claire for it, she and Cam wouldn't stop the kissing-in-public thing. Plus, Massie's boyfriend, Chris, was a senior, and didn't have lunch period with them.

Kristen had sidled up to Derrington and they were talking about that summer's FIFA World Cup; Alicia was chatting in Spanish with Emilio, the hot Mexican exchange student who for some reason was still in Westchester; and Kemp Hurley was staring at Dylan's chest, which, surprisingly, Dylan didn't seem to mind. None of them seemed in any hurry to get lunch, but Massie had spotted Vanessa Boyd getting in line and headed towards the line herself.

Striding up to Vanessa and cutting in front of all the LBRs, Massie picked up a plate of Caesar salad and placed it on her tray. She waited for Vanessa to grab a bag of low-fat corn chips before speaking. "Hey, V," Massie said. "You don't mind if I call you that, do you?"

Vanessa turned around and immediately her mouth curled into a gentle smile. "Of course not. It's better than—" Vanessa caught herself before she revealed what Abby and her parents always called her. "It's better than the whole V-A-N-E-S-S-A."

Massie smiled back. "Do you want to join us for lunch?" she asked as hospitably as she could.

Vanessa looked a little surprised, but it was just a moment before she said, "Sure. Where do you sit?"

"Table 27," Massie said, leading the way to the window. It looked like everyone had left to get their lunches except for Cam and Claire, who were still making out. "Claire!" Massie hissed under her breath as she passed her on the way to her seat.

Claire and Cam immediately broke apart and Claire hopped over to her own seat. Both of them seemed surprised to see Vanessa sitting with Massie across the table.

Massie didn't say anything, but looked Claire in the eye as meaningfully as she could. Claire seemed to get the hint. "Come on, Cam," she said, tugging on his hand. "Let's get some food."

Once everyone in her elite, coed-since-last-year clique had sat down again, Massie cleared her throat. Everyone knew to turn their eyes on the queen when she demanded attention. "This is Vanessa Boyd," Massie began. "She's new this year, and I thought I'd invite her to sit with us."

Massie could tell that everyone was a little surprised, but she relished in her power when they all nodded and went back to their normal lunchtime banter.

"What does Massie think she's doing?" Alicia hissed accusingly in Claire's ear, making sure Massie didn't hear her.

Claire knew exactly what the head of the Pretty Committee thought she was doing. Claire had been at Massie's side as she had schemed all of their freshman year, trying to get back on top after what Skye Hamilton did to them in eighth grade, and it hadn't been easy to convince all of the freshman grade of Augustian Day High School that the Pretty Committee was not a bunch of immature wannabes. In the end, they had humiliated Skye so badly that she and the DSL Daters were now the LBRs of the junior grade, while Massie was back on top as a sophomore.

And Claire knew that Massie would do anything to keep that spot, including invite Vanessa Boyd to eat lunch with them. What she didn't understand, though, was why Massie felt so threatened by the girl.

"Don't worry," Claire told Alicia. "Massie's got a plan."

"Ugh," Alicia groaned. She hated that Massie told Claire more than she told Alicia. And now there was this Vanessa to compete with. Being even a beta was getting harder and harder every day.

Being popular in itself was getting harder every day.

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**_How was that...:-) I can't remember if I warned you already, but this story's main plot is _not_ about being popular. Gasp! LOL, just thought I should warn you (again?). Well, ttyl and don't forget to review!!_**

**_--MC_**

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	4. Chapter 4

**_Hello everyone and here's chapter 4. I apologize for its shortness...but there are shorter chapters to come!! Whatevs, enjoy...:-)_**

**_--MC_**

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**THE BLOCK ESTATE**

**SPA**

**Wednesday, August 29th**

**3:18 pm**

The Pretty Committee gathered in Massie's hot tub, wondering what Massie had called this meeting for. Their alpha, though, was leaning her head against the rim of the tub, her eyes closed. Claire was starting to think she'd fallen asleep or something. She had heard that it wasn't good to sleep in hot tubs. You could accidentally stay in too long and get heatstroke—

"Are we all here?" Massie kept her eyes closed and Claire could barely hear her voice over the hot tub jets.

"Yeah," Alicia, Dylan, Kristen, and Claire replied.

"Good," Massie said, her voice still barely audible. "There are a few things I need to tell you about this year."

She was silent for a long time, but no one dared press her. Finally, Claire asked timidly, "Is this about Vanessa Boyd?"

"I'm glad you guessed." Massie finally opened her amber eyes and sat forward. "Yes, this is about Vanessa. I hate to sound insecure, but she's perfect. And we can't let her take over after all we went through last year."

"Ehmagawd!" Dylan exclaimed. "I forgot to remark on this before—did you see her hair? And her eyes?"

"Yeah! Her hair is like iridescent, and her eyes are purple," Kristen gushed. "And her legs were _so_ long. She looks like she belongs in Japanese anime or something."

Claire noticed Massie's eyes darken as the alpha said, "Girls! I know she's gorgeous. And if any of you noticed, she's a natural alpha, too."

"I noticed." Alicia looked Massie in the eye as if daring her to accuse her of sucking up, but Massie didn't seem to care.

"She's Abby Boyd's sister," Kristen stated. "I'd be surprised if Abby didn't rub off on her a little. Remember how alpha she was when you were in _Dial L for Loser_ with her, Claire?"

"Abby wasn't so alpha as manipulative," Claire replied.

"Girls! Focus!" Massie snapped, and everyone immediately shut up and turned to her. Massie's voice was gentler as she went on, "We can't let the LBRs all start worshiping Vanessa instead of us."

The Pretty Committee nodded. "So what are we supposed to do?" Alicia questioned.

"That's what I called you all here for." Massie ran a hand through the water and looked each of the girls in the eye. "I wanted to tell you that we're going to have a new member in the Pretty Committee."

The girls' eyes widened. "Who?" Dylan asked.

Everyone glared at her.

"What?" The redhead was oblivious.

"Vanessa, obviously!" Kristen finally dared to say.

Massie gave Kristen an indiscernible smile. "Thank you for putting it so blatantly," she said. "I want you guys to be nice to her, okay? We're going to get her into the Pretty Committee as soon as we possibly can. She's probably not going to stay at ADH permanently, since she's only here because of Abby's movie, so we can gradually let her go once she leaves."

Everyone nodded, and there was a pause before Alicia asked, "Do you think it's going to work?"

"Of course," Massie said, but she wasn't cockily confident like she usually was.

"But what if she…" Alicia trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

"What if we let her in the Pretty Committee and then she just takes over?" Claire asked for her. "Vanessa seemed pretty confident."

Massie's lips curled into a forbidding smile. "Then we'll just have to show her who's queen around here, won't we?"

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**_I'd like to warn you that, in the next chapter, the story takes a dark spin...so don't say I didn't warn you!! LOL, as always, thanks for reading and please review!!_**

**_--MC_**


	5. Chapter 5

**_Sorry for not updating for so long...I was busy finishing the story!!! That's right, the ending's all written out. I just need to do some editing and revising, so I'll do my best to update steadily till we get to the end!! Okay, this is where the story takes a darker turn...can't wait to see what y'all say, so please review!!_**

**_--MC_**

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**THE MONTADOR**

**APARTMENT 713**

**Wednesday, August 29th**

**6:34 pm**

"Hey, homekitties, I'm baaaaack!" Abby Boyd's boisterous voice rang through the apartment as she returned from New York City that evening.

Vanessa could hear her sister announcing her arrival even over the thundering guitars of Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" and her bedroom's closed door. She had been forced to spend the afternoon at her psychiatrist's office, "talking" about her first day at Augustian Day High School. Her parents had insisted that Dr. Cairn, her annoying psychiatrist, come to New York with her. They had even rented a room at the Westchester Ritz Carlton, which was where Vanessa was supposed to go "visit" him twice a week. After today's disastrous "visit," Vanessa really did not have the energy to face her older sister.

But she would have to, because Abby barged into Vanessa's room and plopped down on the bed, where Vanessa had been lying, staring at the ceiling.

"Nessy!" Abby exclaimed, bouncing up and down on Vanessa's bed. "Are you being all depressed again?"

Abby sounded sincere, but Vanessa knew she was just being saccharine. She could feel numbness creep all over her body. "So what if I am?" Vanessa replied, grabbing a white satin pillow and slamming it over her face.

"Awww, come on," Abby coaxed, sounding more cloying by the word. She reached over a manicured hand and pulled the pillow off of her younger sister's face. "You'll never guess who I found out is going to be my new co-star!" Abby gushed, bouncing again.

Vanessa watched her sister's perfect D-cups jiggle and her butt-length caramel brown curls sway, and a wave of jealousy washed over her, putting her in an even worse mood than before. The numbness spread inside Vanessa's heart.

"Joanna Levesque!" Abby went on, not bothering to wait for an answer.

Vanessa still didn't respond, her amethyst eyes fixed on the ceiling.

"Don't tell me you don't know her," Abby said.

Vanessa glanced at her sister's beautiful face, now looming over her own, and was immediately filled with disgust at Abby's perfect features. "I don't."

"JoJo! Don't you remember? 'Leave, Get Out?' 'Too Little Too Late?' She's finally back to acting!"

Grabbing the pillow and stuffing it into her face again, Vanessa growled, "Whatever."

Abby flared her nostrils, her sugary cover finally cracking. "You should be listening to JoJo instead of this crap. Some of her new songs are really good, and this stuff's not good for your mental state."

"Fuck my mental state," Vanessa hissed from under the pillow.

Abby pulled back as if snakes had suddenly appeared on the bed. "Fine," she said, feigning hurt. She was an actress, after all. "Be out for dinner at seven." She got off the bed, leaving behind a cloud of Chanel No. 19 that Vanessa could smell even through the pillow, and headed for the door. The scent of her sister's perfume made the numbness in Vanessa absolute.

Once Abby was gone, the only sounds in the room were those coming from Vanessa's stereo. She rolled off the bed and pushed the top mattress to the side, pulling out a red-handled Swiss Army knife.

_I walk this lonely street, on the boulevard of broken dreams_

_Where the city sleeps, and I'm the only one and I walk a…_

_My shadow's the only one who walks beside me_

_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating…_

Green Day's words of wisdom echoed in her ears as Vanessa flipped out the knife blade. Abby was _so_ absolutely perfect. She was beautiful; Abby had gotten their parents' good looks; Vanessa didn't know where her raven-colored hair and violet eyes had come from. Abby was a talented actress while most of the people in the world had never even heard of Vanessa. Abby had been the one to ruin Vanessa's chance at being recognized.

Vanessa had been the one who had always wanted to be an actress. She never told anyone except Abby. But when that director came to Abby's junior high looking for a child actress, had Abby even thought to recommend her younger sister? No. Abby had auditioned for the role without telling Vanessa, and before anyone knew it, Abby Boyd was a thirteen-year-old superstar. Vanessa, her eleven-year-old sister, was nothing but a trace of the past.

And since then, Vanessa had always lived in Abby's shadow. It was as if Abby blocked out all the sun, hiding Vanessa so that no one ever truly paid her any attention. Vanessa might as well be dead. There would be no more chances; no one would want to cast Abby Boyd's younger sister when there was Abby Boyd. Vanessa couldn't forgive her for destroying her dream.

Sometimes Abby pretended to care, pretended to be a sweet older sister, but Vanessa knew better. The girl was an actress; she could fake anything. Vanessa could have pretended, too, but when Abby started acting, her perfection made Vanessa feel numb inside and out.

Why was she alive? Was there really any point in living when her dream was shattered and Abby always eclipsed her out? There was a time when Vanessa didn't know how she could prove to herself she was alive.

But she knew the answer now. If you were dead, you couldn't feel pain.

Vanessa drew the knife across her forearm and watched her blood glisten on the silver blade.

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**_Shocked? Surprised? Bottom jaw hitting the floor? Good. Do you hate me now...?? Love me even more than you did before...?? (sorry for sounding egotistic) If so, please tell me in a review!! Thanks for reading..._**

**_--MC_**


	6. Chapter 6

**_I'm in a good mood--two chapters in one day!! Well, this one's pretty short...enjoy!!_**

**

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AUGUSTIAN DAY HIGH SCHOOL**

**ROOM 119**

**Thursday, August 30th**

**8:10 am**

The bell rang as Massie slid into her seat in homeroom. After his distance yesterday, Chris had finally stopped her in the halls, apologized for being so caught up in the I'm-a-senior-now thing, and lip-kissed her.

Massie was still breathless as Mrs. Gallagher started calling attendance. Alicia was flashing her cell phone under her desk, and Massie pulled hers out of her Gucci purse and flipped it open.

Alicia?? were u almost late?

Massie wasn't one to blatantly kiss and tell, but since Alicia asked, she didn't consider it bragging to tell her.

Massie: was making out w/ Chris

Alicia caught Massie's eye over their desks and gave her an "ehmagawd" face. Massie grinned back.

"Massie Block," Mrs. Gallagher called.

Massie quickly slid her phone in the pocket of her Juicy Couture jeans and said, "Here!"

"Vanessa Boyd," Mrs. Gallagher went on.

"Here," Vanessa said softly. Massie suddenly noticed that the raven-haired girl was sitting right in front of her and admonished herself for being so oblivious just because Chris had kissed her.

When the teacher went on with the list, Massie whispered, "Hey, V."

Vanessa turned around and smiled sweetly, reminding Massie just how alpha this girl could be. "Hey, M. You mind if I call you that?"

"'Course not," Massie said. It was rather blatant that Vanessa wasn't going to let Massie extend the power of nicknames over her, but it would be disrespectful for Massie not to let Vanessa give her a moniker.

"Whoa, love the necklace." Vanessa pointed at the Tiffany diamond pendant Massie had around her neck.

Massie wondered if the compliment was a ploy or something. "Thanks," she said anyways, and then wondered if Vanessa had any other classes with her in the morning or if now would be a good time to ask if she wanted to sit with them at lunch.

But Massie didn't get a chance to think any further, because Mrs. Gallagher snapped, "Miss Boyd! Face front and stop chatting."

Vanessa giggled before turning back around and Massie smiled back. All of a sudden she noticed Vanessa's light blue sweater. Why was she wearing a long-sleeved cashmere sweater on a day like today?

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**_Y'all know why V's got the sweater, right?? LOL. Thanxx for reading and plz review!!_**

**_--MC_**


	7. Chapter 7

**_Hello everyone...why am I not getting the multitude of reviews that I was before...?? And why does Chapter 5 have 39 hits when Chapter 6 has 53?? Is someone trying to read out of order or are you just returning to Chapter 6 for some reason...?? Or maybe pressing back after reviewing, since Chapter 5 has no reviews...?? Whatever, I'm probably confusing you. Enjoy Chapter 7!! _**

**_--MC

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**AUGUSTIAN DAY HIGH SCHOOL**

**GIRLS' LOCKER ROOM**

**Thursday, August 30th**

**11:02 am**

Massie, Claire, Kristen, and Vanessa, who had started walking to class with the Pretty Committee, all had fourth period gym. Yesterday had been spent getting lockers; today they were going to start the actual class. Where they actually had to play sports. Massie, Vanessa, and Claire trudged into the locker room, dreading the volleyball unit they were starting. Kristen, on the other hand, walked with her head in the air; she was still the best female athlete in the grade.

The four of them had picked lockers close to the hall door, furthest away from where Mrs. Claman, the gym teacher, was, keeping an eye on them. Massie pulled off her street clothes and sauntered up the aisle in her bra and underwear, pretending to go talk to a girl at the front. But Claire knew that Massie only wanted to show off her newly developed chest. The alpha was, indeed, catching everyone's attention.

Kristen had started talking with Miranda Stewart about soccer, and Claire changed quickly before at Vanessa, who had also changed and was pulling a white sweatband over her left wrist. She wasn't quick enough, though, and Claire glimpsed the narrow, horizontal scab Vanessa was covering.

Claire caught a gasp in her throat the same way she caught Vanessa's wrist and pushed back the sweatband. Vanessa pulled away and shoved the white terry cloth band back down. The locker room chatter melded into a hum in the background, and she looked at Claire with deploring eyes.

Claire was frozen with shock. Vanessa Boyd, the perfect movie star sister, the girl Massie was afraid of…Claire couldn't finish the sentence even in her head.

"Please don't tell anyone," Vanessa whispered, her voice desperate.

Claire looked into her amethyst eyes and couldn't fathom why Vanessa would want to slit her wrist like she obviously had. Claire knew Massie wouldn't think twice about Vanessa if she knew, though. She wondered, though, if telling—not Massie, an adult—would be more beneficial to Vanessa.

But there really wasn't anything else Claire could say except, "I won't."

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**_Oooohh suspense!! LOL. Thanks for reading and don't forget to send me a REVIEW!!! _**

**_--MC_**

****


	8. Chapter 8

**_I realize that I haven't updated in a while, even after saying that I was going to post regularly since the story was finished...I did say that, didn't I?? See how much of an airhead I am...?? LOL. Well, I apologize for my period of inactivity...here's Chapter 8--it's kind of short... ) Anyways, R&R please!!_**

**_--MC_**

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**AUGUSTIAN DAY HIGH SCHOOL**

**CAFETERIA**

**Thursday, August 30th**

**12:02 pm**

For most everyone at table 27, it was another normal lunch period.

For Claire, it was a time when she finally got to think. Claire always forced herself to pay attention in school. She and Kristen were the only girls in the Pretty Committee to get straight As, but Claire actually had to work for hers. And working included listening in class, even though she would much rather be wondering about Vanessa than proving two triangles congruent.

Vanessa. Cut her wrist. Claire couldn't seem to put the two phrases into a sentence. It was just…such an odd concept. Vanessa seemed perfect. She was the sister of a movie star, she was beautiful, and, according to Massie, she was an alpha. Claire couldn't think of one reason why she would want to do what she had done to herself.

Glancing at Massie, Claire now wondered what she should do about it. She couldn't just let the girl go on hurting herself like that. Claire knew she was supposed to tell the school counselor or another "trusted adult," but Claire had told Vanessa she wouldn't tell _anyone_. Most certainly not Massie, who would tear the girl apart if she knew.

Even though she barely knew Vanessa, Claire felt an intrinsic need to help her. Maybe she could be a psychiatrist or something when she grew up…as Cam tapped her on the shoulder and lifted a spoonful of strawberry yogurt towards her mouth, she resolved to talk to Vanessa about it before doing anything.

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**_How was that small piece of writing?? Remember that you can almost always read ahead in the story if you visit CoolFolk, my friend's and my website, the link to which you can find in my profile. Yeah, I know, I'm just an _****_advertisement. LOL._**

**_--MC_**


	9. Chapter 9

**_Hello everyone, I sincerely apologize for the delay of this chapter!! My life has been super-busy and I just really haven't been on my Fan Fiction .net account in a while...Thanks to everyone who waited patiently and enjoy this chapter!!_**

**_--MC

* * *

_AUGUSTIAN DAY HIGH SCHOOL**

**MUSIC ROOM**

**Thursday, August 30th**

**3:00 pm**

When the dismissal bell rang at the end of music class, everyone rushed out of the room, eager to get out of school. Vanessa stayed in her seat. Ever since fourth period, she had been worrying.

Claire was the only Pretty Committee girl in this class. She was the only girl to know, or at least kind of know Vanessa's secret, and she watched Claire gathering her books. Could Vanessa trust her? The girl seemed to be quite close with Massie Block. And Vanessa knew Massie was one of those social queens who loved to gossip. Claire could probably win a lot of respect from Massie if she told.

Vanessa knew she really needed to stop the cutting thing. With her black hair and violet eyes and the way dark clothes flattered her, she looked emo enough. She didn't need the actual thing. But those times when she felt so numb and dead inside…there was no other way to remind herself she was alive.

Mr. Green, the music teacher, bolted out of the room without even noticing Vanessa. Claire, on the other hand, walked up to Vanessa's desk.

"Hey," the towhead said softly. "Can I talk to you?"

Vanessa looked up at Claire's face. Even though Vanessa knew what Claire wanted to talk to her about, Claire's face was open and friendly. "I guess," Vanessa replied.

"Why did you do it?" Claire sat down in the desk next to Vanessa's and hugged her books to her chest. She dropped her voice to a whisper. "Why did you cut your wrist?"

Vanessa looked away. She had known the question was coming, yet she was still surprised. How could she ever explain to this girl, who was part of the innest clique at the school, who was so tight with the queen of the social scene—how could Claire ever understand how Abby made her feel?

Getting to her feet, Vanessa strode over to the old upright piano at the front of the music classroom. Claire watched silently as she put her fingers to the keys.

_I will not make the same mistakes that you did_

_I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery…_

Vanessa's voice was sweet as she accompanied herself in Kelly Clarkson's old hit, and Claire let herself get caught up in the music, noticing that Vanessa was a really good singer as well as piano player. The girl's voice cracked, though, when she neared the end of the song's chorus:

…_Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me_

_Because of you I am…afraid…_

Suddenly Vanessa's hands dropped to her lap. She looked at Claire with tears in her amethyst-colored eyes. "Because of You" was one of Vanessa's favorite songs. She had gotten the sheet music from the library and practiced on the piano at her house in LA whenever the place was empty, which was often. Vanessa had had the idea to play it in Abby's face one day. She knew that doing that could free her from her feeling of inferiority and numbness. But she could never work up the courage.

Playing it for Claire now made her throat close up and her eyes tear. She didn't want to let Claire see her cry. She had almost gotten to the part where the lyrics went, _I cannot cry because I know that's weakness in your eyes_, but _Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me_ had gotten the better of her. Vanessa couldn't go any further in the song, not when she suddenly so clearly saw how untrusting she was.

Claire could sense Vanessa's poignancy and despondency from the few measures she had played. It was like one of those dramatic movies that always made her cry; Claire could feel the lump growing in her throat. Somehow she knew what Vanessa was conveying to her through the music.

"Who?" Claire choked, just loud enough for Vanessa to hear. "Because of whom?"

Vanessa put her fingers on the piano keys again and let the tears carry her voice out. She jumped to the outro of the song:

_Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything_

_Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in_

_Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty_

_Because of you I am afraid…_

The last few piano notes reverberated in Claire's ears, making her eardrums feel like they were trembling. Vanessa dropped her hands to her lap again and turned her tear-streaked face away for a moment.

Claire was silent. She could sense Vanessa's vulnerability and didn't want to push her away.

When Vanessa looked at Claire again, the harsh fluorescent lights of the classroom flashed in the girl's violet eyes. "Because of my sister," Vanessa rasped, sounding so rough compared to the clear singing of a few moments ago. She couldn't believe she was baring her soul to Claire like this. But maybe she was finally learning to trust after all. "Because of Abby."

* * *

**_Ooohhh the suspense builds... As usual, please send in your reviews!! Thanks for reading, and don't forget that CoolFolk, my friend's and my website, is 2 chapters ahead!! I know I'm just trying to bribe you all to go to the site...but all you have to do is click on the link in my profile--if you hate CoolFolk, all you'll have lost is a few minutes. LOL...Well, I'm not promising anything since next week is ISAT week and I have to take Gifted testing and go to a clarinet competition, but I hope you're looking forward to the next chapter!! Thanks again for reading..._**

**_--MC_**


	10. Chapter 10

**_Hello everyone, I'm happy to report that the coolest of y'all actually went to CoolFolk to read ahead!! Thanks so much and I'm still encouraging everyone else to follow their ah-mazing lead... Anyways here's the next chapter..._**

**_--MC

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_AUGUSTIAN DAY HIGH SCHOOL**

**MUSIC ROOM**

**Thursday, August 30th**

**3:03 pm**

Claire couldn't believe her ears. "Because of Abby."

"Why?" Her voice came out sounding all choked.

A fresh wave of tears cascaded from Vanessa's eyes. "Abby makes me feel…dead," she whispered bluntly. "And feeling pain reminds me I'm alive." She couldn't understand why she was telling Claire all of this. How could she expect the girl to understand? Claire was probably just going to run tattling to the counselor.

But then again, she had stayed so far. She hadn't told anyone.

Claire didn't know what to say to Vanessa. "What does Abby do," she finally began, "that makes you feel…dead?" Chewing her lip, Claire questioned whether she was going about this the right way.

Suddenly Vanessa thought of how good it would feel to share her burden with someone else, someone like Claire, who—suddenly, she could just tell; she was as certain now as she was uncertain a minute ago—wouldn't mind the burden and wouldn't betray it to someone who shouldn't know. It was just like Dr. Cairn always said—communication can free you. But Vanessa had never wanted to "communicate" with her psychiatrist.

Claire, on the other hand, wasn't her psychiatrist.

Vanessa inhaled shakily and looked Claire and her light blue eyes. "Abby's a famous actress," she said softly, "but I was the one who always wanted to be in a movie." Claire looked back at her with a gentle expression on her face. For a fleeting moment, Vanessa wanted to laugh at the cheesiness of it all—oh, the drama!—but she still found herself continuing.

"I never told anyone except Abby about wanting to be an actress. Then a talent agent went to Abby's middle school when she was thirteen. They had auditions for a part in a movie, and Abby won it." Reliving the memory made her heart ache with a dull throb. "The rest is history."

Claire nodded slowly, but she didn't understand what this had to do with Vanessa slitting her wrist. She didn't want to press her, though, so she waited for Vanessa to continue.

"But Abby knew how much I wanted to be an actress. I was eleven years old and acting was my only dream, I guess." Vanessa sounded a little sheepish now, and she cast her eyes down at her hands in her lap. After a moment, she went on, "And I felt so betrayed—Abby took the role without even giving me a second thought. She didn't even tell me about the auditions. She could have recommended me to the talent agent, she could have arranged for me to have an audition, too—"

Vanessa glanced up, and Claire saw a fresh wave of tears in her amethyst eyes as she said, "And Abby was suddenly a…superstar, and it was like she shined so brightly that I was nothing in comparison. My parents always fawn over her, and since Abby became famous, they've hardly given me a second thought. They always listen to her; they give her whatever she wants; yet they totally ignore me. It's like I'm nobody just because Abby is somebody." Vanessa knew how corny she sounded, but she didn't care. When you break the dam, the whole river has no choice but to surge forth, just as Vanessa's words were surging forth now. "Whenever I'm around Abby, I'm just numb inside, and she's so perfect—she's everything I could have been, and it's like I'm not even alive."

She paused and looked at Claire, who seemed to be listening sincerely. "And the only way I can prove to myself that I'm—that I'm actually alive," she choked, another batch of tears flowing forth, "is to feel pain. Like—like a knife to my wrist." Vanessa wiped the tears away from her face. "And everyone who knows—my parents, Abby, my freaking psychiatrist—they all tell me I have to stop, and I know I have to stop, but I can't. That's the reason I left my old school. They were all too close to finding out; my friends were all guessing that I cut myself. But I can't stop, or else I won't…even…know…if…I'm alive." Vanessa paused between each of her last words. Suddenly the river had slowed to a painfully slow trickle, and she felt totally spent.

Claire felt her heart clench in sympathy, but she didn't know what to do. Whenever she heard about people like this, it was always about how cheesy psychiatrists gave them a few pills, proved to them that their life was worth living, and moved on to the next patient.

But Claire didn't know how to prescribe pills, nor did she know how to show Vanessa that her life was worth living. Hell, this girl didn't even know how to prove to herself she was alive, except to…cut herself. Claire cringed mentally at the thought. She knew what she said next would count for a lot. Vanessa had just bared her soul to her, and Claire had to come up with the right thing to tell her.

Taking a deep breath, Claire closed here eyes for a moment before fixing them on Vanessa. "I know this might sound kind of corny," Claire finally began, "and to be honest, I don't know how I can prove to you that you're alive or that…your life's…worth living." She looked into Vanessa's eyes to gauge her reaction. Those intense purple irises were blurred with tears, but seemed to be pleading with her for…help. Salvation. Emancipation.

"And—" Claire stopped herself, took another deep breath, thought about what she was going to say, and finally exhaled. "I'm probably not the best person to judge, but this world sucks, you know? Nothing ever seems to go your way. And there are a thousand reasons to give up and—stuff…" Claire trailed off, suddenly not knowing what she was saying anymore, though she did know that she sounded impossibly sappy and shouldn't have said "stuff" because it was a second-grade level word.

She inhaled and exhaled again before continuing, "But it's just like what they always teach you in churches and things—" She mentally cringed at another second-grade level word. "—that you should always hope, right? Like however much…badness has happened to you, you can't give up…?" Claire found herself turning that last sentence into a question and decided it sounded better that way.

Vanessa was nodding, and she slowly wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. Claire was intimidated by the look of despondency in her eyes, but she new she couldn't stop now.

"And I'm really not the best person to be…preaching morals and…stuff like that—" Claire silently admonished herself; God, she really needed to study her vocabulary. "—but I guess what I'm trying to say is…you can't give up. Like, even though it's like the corniest thing ever…it's the truth. If you have hope and faith and everything, then no matter what people say or do or what happens, you'll have done the right thing…" Claire almost didn't know what she was saying, but in her heart she knew exactly what she wanted to convey.

"And I don't know how to prove any of that to you—" She looked into Vanessa's eyes again and saw a new light there, prompting her to go on. "—and it probably sounds like a bunch of cheesy crap, but you just have to take it, you know?"

Vanessa was nodding slowly, but Claire didn't think she was convinced. How could a girl who slit her wrist be convinced of hope so easily? Suddenly a very unrelated example popped into Claire's head. "Like in math, with postulates—you just have to trust that they're true, right? Like I said, I'm not the best person to be preaching to you, but you have to accept that if you…do the right thing—I guess that's the only way to put it—it'll be…okay, you know? You can't be all depressed and emo—" Claire's voice froze—she hadn't meant to let that term slip out of her mouth. But Vanessa seemed unfazed and was listening just as she had before.

"I guess you just have to hope for the best. Even if nothing works out, you'll know you did the right thing in hoping." Suddenly Claire was totally confident in what she had said, even if she had never thought about it before, even if it was the sappiest thing that had ever come out of her mouth.

Suddenly Vanessa and Claire locked eyes. Vanessa smiled, and Claire felt herself smiling back.

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**_Was that too sappy...?? Haha lol, thanks for reading and please review!! _**

**_--MC_**


	11. Chapter 11

**_Umm...not much to say...enjoy chapter 11!! Oh, yeah, for those of you out there who are fans of the Uglies Series, please take a look at my new Uglies oneshot, Extreme Truth!! And if you want to read ahead in TMOS, don't forget that CoolFolk is a few chapters ahead (it's on 14). Thanks!!_**

**_--MC_**

**

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**

THE RANGE ROVER

**Friday, August 31st**

**7:50 am**

"So," Dylan said as she bounded into the Range Rover on Friday morning in a black Betsey Johnson wrap dress and onyx-colored flats, her fiery red curls tied in two low pigtails. "What's up?"

Massie leaned forward in her chair. "Good question, Dyl," she said. "Because I have more news."

Claire, Kristen, Alicia, and Dylan turned towards her. "Is this about Vanessa?" Claire asked tentatively. She couldn't stop thinking about what Vanessa had said in the music room the day before, but she knew she couldn't tell anyone.

Massie focused her amber eyes on Claire. "How did you know?" Her voice was a little suspicious.

Claire searched her brain for something to say. "Just had a feeling," she finally mumbled.

Thankfully, Massie shrugged it off. "Vanessa," she began, "is going to be the newest member of the Friday night sleepover."

"What?" Alicia half-screeched.

"Why?" Dylan inquired.

Massie's amber eyes flashed. "Calm down. I'll explain once you relax."

"Fine." Alicia leaned back in her chair, crossed her legs at the ankles, and stuck her feet forward, balancing them on the heels of her blue lace-up sandals. She was looking summery in Ralph Lauren jean shorts and a dark blue knit cami.

"Okay," Massie began again. "Vanessa needs to become one of us as fast as possible, remember?"

Everyone nodded.

"So, what better way than to just invite her to one of our sleepovers? She'll feel totally like part of the Pretty Committee, and everyone else will know it, too."

"Given," Alicia agreed.

There was a chorus of "yeahs" and "mmhmms" before Kristen asked, "Can I suggest something?" She twirled a strand of blond hair that hung loose from her movie star-messy updo and then rolled up the cuffs of her Joie capris.

"Sure," Massie said amiably, ignoring Kristen's obvious insecurity. "What?"

"Well, if you want her to become one of us so badly," Kristen replied, "why don't we start carpooling her?"

After a moment, Massie's amber eyes lit up and she slapped the leather seat with her palm. "Genius!"

"Really?" Kristen's aqua eyes were questioning, as if she were afraid Massie was being sarcastic or something.

"Totally!" Massie exclaimed. "But the next school day isn't until Monday, which means we shouldn't ask her until…Sunday?"

"Given." Alicia nodded. "I was about to say the same thing."

Claire sank back in her leather seat and sighed. As much as she loved the Pretty Committee, they were petty and superficial. If they knew Vanessa's secret, they wouldn't give her a second thought. Which was why Claire bit her tongue, reminding herself to stay silent.

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**_Apologies for the shortness of this chapter...LOL, review please!! Thanxxx..._**

**_--MC_**


	12. Chapter 12

**_Alright, chapter 12!! Not much else to say...enjoy!! _**

**_--MC_**

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**AUGUSTIAN DAY HIGH SCHOOL**

**CAFETERIA**

**Friday, August 31st**

**12:03 am**

Massie surveyed Table 27 with the satisfaction of the alpha that ruled it. Even though Claire and Cam were doing their PDA thing, the rest of the table was exactly how Massie wanted it to be.

Kristen and Derrington were, once again, talking about soccer, this time with Emilio, who was also on the soccer team (according to Alicia, his family had moved to Westchester and he would be staying here permanently). Massie couldn't help thinking that Kristen and Derrington would make a cute couple, middle school past aside. But Kristen repeatedly insisted that he was "just a friend."

Alicia was leaning on the back of Emilio's chair, pretending to listen to the soccer conversation and fingering his floppy black hair. Massie knew she had a crush on him, but she was still into the _old_ policy—that she couldn't make the first move, and kept trying to get Emilio to make a move on her. It wasn't really working, but Alicia hadn't been complaining, so it wasn't Massie's problem.

Dylan was the only member of the Pretty Committee who could _really_ talk to the boys on a platonic level. As usual, Kemp Hurley was hanging on every word she said, and he and Josh Hotz were listening to some story Dylan was telling about Lindsay Lohan on her mother's show.

Griffin Hastings was sitting with his feet propped on the table, eating a cheese sandwich and reading a horror novel at the same time. Massie didn't know why he still hung around with them, but he was quiet and Massie didn't want to upset the boys by kicking him out, so she let him stay.

The only thing wrong with the table was that Chris Abeley was missing. Massie's heart quickened just thinking his name, and she really wished that he were in her grade. But it made Massie feel good to be the one dating an older guy; it made her proud to be the one who had to be strong.

But that was all beside the point. Today Massie had a mission.

She had asked Vanessa to come sit with them again after gym, and sure enough, the raven-haired girl was moving towards them. Vanessa sat down next to Claire and started eating. When Claire finally scooted off of Cam's lap and into her own chair, Vanessa asked her something about history homework, and Claire dug around in her folder and gave Vanessa a piece of paper.

Massie waited till the end of the lunch period to approach Vanessa. All the tenth graders were pouring out of the cafeteria when she caught up to Vanessa, who was walking with Claire. Briefly, Massie wondered when the two of them had become so chummy, but she tapped Vanessa on the shoulder without another thought.

"Hey, M," Vanessa said, smiling.

"Hey, V." Massie grinned back. "I was just wondering…" She paused for effect. "…if you'd like to come to our weekly sleepover tonight?" She waited for Vanessa to ask further, which the raven-haired girl naturally did.

"Weekly sleepover?" Vanessa echoed.

Massie had wanted Vanessa to get a sentence in there; let her feel like she was directing the conversation a little, but now the amber-eyed alpha explained. "The Pretty Committee has a traditional sleepover every Friday night," she began. "It might seem a little childish, but we've been doing it ever since sixth grade, and we've only missed a few weeks since then. I wanted to invite you to, well, join our tradition this week." Massie giggled a little at her cheesiness.

"It's not really a big deal," Claire joined in. "We just have some snacks and talk or watch a movie or something, and then we go to sleep."

Vanessa was nodding, and Massie could tell she was being won over. It was odd, though, that she was so swayed by Claire's opinion. "Okay," Vanessa said. "I'll tell my aunt and get my chauffeur to…?"

Massie admired Vanessa's alpha-ness and her suavely put question for a split second before replying, "Oh, come around…seven thirty? We always do the sleepover in the spa on my family's estate. You'll be able to see it when you get there; it's the old horse barn."

"Alright." Vanessa smiled again. "I'll see you there, then?" She and Massie didn't have any other classes together for the rest of the day.

"Definitely," Massie responded.

Vanessa walked off with Claire and Massie headed towards English. Mission accomplished.

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**_The next chapter's pretty long, so y'all can look forward to that!! Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!!_**

**_--MC_**


	13. Chapter 13

**_June 25, 2008_**

**_Hello people, I know it's been a LOOONNNNNGGGG time with no new chapters of TMOS, but hopefully that will change soon!! As some of you may know, the story is actually finished, I've just kind of neglected it because I'm lazy...but the WHOLE THING is posted on CoolFolk, my friend's and my website, which I've continually advertised on Fanfiction. Net, but the reading experience on CoolFolk is certainly better than the experience on Fanfiction, because CoolFolk is just cool like that!!_**

**_Anyways, I'm really sorry for my inactivity, if that's what you can call it, and one of my goals on my list of to-do things for this summer is to finish posting TMOS on Fanfiction. Net. So, yeah, let's hope I can get that done, along with all the other things on my list!! _**

**_--Moira Calhoun_**

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**BLOCK ESTATE**

**SPA**

**Friday, August 31st**

**7:39 pm**

Vanessa stood in front of the door to the old horse barn on Massie's estate, surprised to feel a pit of nervousness in her stomach. She reprimanded herself for the feeling. What reason did she have to be nervous for coming to Massie's sleepover? It was Massie who had invited her in the first place.

With her overnight bag slung on her shoulder, Vanessa lifted her hand and knocked on the door.

A few moments later Massie opened it. "Welcome to 'GLU Headquarters.'" She used air quotes around "GLU Headquarters;" it was a childish phrase but she couldn't stop referring to the spa that way.

Vanessa stepped inside, the inch-high heels of her slides clicking on the hardwood floor.

"This is the dry section," Massie said like a seasoned tour guide.

Claire, Alicia, Dylan, and Kristen were sitting on top of their sleeping bags, Claire and Dylan sharing a bowl of trail mix. Alicia and Kristen were going through Alicia's new Hard Candy makeup set. "Hey!" Dylan welcomed Vanessa.

"Through there is the wet section," Massie explained, pointing to the door in the wall. "We'll be heading in there in a moment. Hope you brought your swimsuit, 'cause we're hot tubbin' tonight!"

Vanessa laughed a little and headed over to where Dylan was patting the sleeping bag between her and Claire. "Want some trail mix?" The redhead waved the bowl under Vanessa's nose. "The pineapple is really good."

Meanwhile, Massie stepped onto the footstool and pulled a shoebox down from the top of the bookshelf. She sat down on her sleeping bag and put the shoebox on her lap. "This is the Box of Random Subjects," she said, opening it. "At the beginning of each sleepover, we always play the Random Subject Game. Everyone draws a subject, and we take turns talking for a whole minute straight on whatever the subject is. Every second you're silent or saying something like 'um' is a point deducted from your gossip points.

Vanessa was confused. "Gossip points?"

"Ehmagawd!" Massie exclaimed, slapping a palm on her forehead. "We never told you what gossip points are?"

"Nope…" Vanessa shook her head a little uncertainly.

Alicia took the honor of explaining. "Every week, we give each other gossip points for, well, gossip. It's pretty simple; whoever has the most points by the end of the week 'wins.'" She drew air quotes around the word. "For example," Alicia went on, "when I say that Emilio finally kissed me after Spanish today, I'll get, say ten points?"

"Ehmagawd!" Dylan's green eyes widened. "He kissed you?"

Alicia nodded smugly.

"Well done, Leesh," Massie said, pulling out her Palm Pilot and adding ten points to Alicia's score.

Vanessa snuck a glance over at Claire and thought about yesterday in the music room. She was sure Claire hadn't told anyone, but now Vanessa felt a wave of admiration for the girl. With this whole gossip points system, Claire could easily have won for the week if she had told. But she hadn't.

"Okay, everyone pick a subject." Massie put the shoebox in the middle of the circle of sleeping bags and each girl drew a slip of paper. "Kristen, it's your turn to go first," Massie said.

"'Kay." Kristen looked at her subject. "Oh, I've got music. Ea-sy." She grinned.

Massie fixed her eyes on the clock on the wall. "Ready…set….go!"

Kristen started talking. "The number one single on the Billboard 200 this week is Mariah Carey's newest song, 'When It's for Real.' This is the lead single from Mariah's new CD, _Forever_. I think she does a reprise of her 1995 song 'Forever' on it, hence the title track. Um, 'When It's for Real' is a really good song in my opinion; it's just really pretty and there's a cello solo, and some whistle register. So, this is Mariah's twenty-first number one single, which ties her with The Beatles for the most number one singles. Apparently this is a really big deal in the music world 'cause it was all over . I think the second single for the Billboard 200 was 'Taken Without Leave' by Sean Kingston. I've never heard the song, so I don't know what else to say about it. The third is 'Next Time Around' from JoJo. JoJo's acting in the movie _Freedom's Wind_ with Abby Boyd, but that doesn't mean she can't release singles from her CD. 'Next Time Around' has been climbing for the last few weeks and has good potential for being number one. I've heard it once and it's funny how all three of JoJo's most successful songs—'Leave, Get Out,' 'Too Little Too Late,' and 'Next Time Around'—are all about a guy who didn't treat her well enough so she's leaving. Well, I think 'Next Time Around' is a pretty good song, but not JoJo's best. Also I'm looking forward to seeing her new movie with Abby—"

"Time!" Massie cut Kristen off. "Good job, one 'um,' so that's just one point off." Massie deducted one point from Kristen's score on her Palm Pilot.

"Wait," Alicia said. "She was talking about JoJo's acting for four seconds. That so does not count as music!"

Kristen furrowed her eyebrows. "But it's related to music!"

"But it _isn't_ music," Alicia insisted.

Both of them turned to Massie. "What does it count as?" Kristen questioned.

"Music," Massie said, rolling her eyes. "No harm in giving Kris four extra points if it's not."

Alicia stuck her tongue out at Kristen and contorted her face. Claire and Dylan laughed.

"Okay," Massie said when they calmed down. "Vanessa, how about you go next?"

"She doesn't have any gossip points," Kristen pointed out.

"Point." Alicia lifted a finger in her perpetual habit.

"You wanna go anyways?" Massie asked.

Vanessa took a moment making her decision. It would only be alpha of her to accept the challenge. "Sure."

Massie smiled. "What's your subject?"

Glancing down at her paper, Vanessa replied, "Boys."

"Ooh," Dylan gushed. "You _have _to go!"

Vanessa really didn't know what to talk about, but Massie was already saying, "Ready…set…go!"

Opening her mouth, Vanessa let words tumble out. "Boys, in my opinion, are totally annoying. At my old school in LA, they used to hang all over me since, one, I'm Abby Boyd's sister, and, two, I was like, the hottest girl at the school. And then when you like a guy, you can't go out and say it or else all the girls will laugh at you or get jealous or diss you for making the first move. I think our society is way too hyped up on this whole who's-dating-whom thing and I think we all just need to take a step back and let love do its work. I mean, I don't necessarily believe in true love, but I think we're manipulating the whole thing too much and making it more complicated than it needs to be. I don't think I've ever been in love, but I have gone out with a few guys, and I always end up 'breaking up' with them because it just doesn't work out. With all the gossip that went around the school, nothing ever felt secure or happy or even content. It's like the world is one big game show and dating the right people helps you win. But, of course, you can't stop teenage love, which is why I go on with having crushes and all that, and people go on having crushes on me. I mean, my lab partner is always trying to do a little more than he needs to, and I can feel all the guys staring when I walk in the hall. Not to sound conceited or anything, but I really wish they wouldn't stare as much. And then there's the fact that I totally have a crush on Julian LaCursia—"

Dylan leapt forward on her sleeping bag. "You have a crush on Julian LaCursia?!"

"Dylan!" Massie gestured at the clock. "You messed up the time!"

"Whatever." Dylan shrugged it off. "Vanessa, is that what you just said? You like Julian LaCursia?"

Vanessa nodded slowly. "Is something wrong with that…?"

"Ehmagawd, no! Julian likes you, too!" Dylan gushed. "Kemp told me Julian said you were 'totally hot.'" She air-quoted the last two words.

Vanessa could feel her cheeks reddening. "Really?"

Dylan nodded vigorously, her long red curls bouncing.

"You should ask him out," Kristen put in. "Hard-to-get is so out, right Mass?"

Massie grinned; it was good news that Vanessa liked Julian LaCursia, the best offense player on the soccer team after Cam. And he was a junior, which meant she wouldn't be the only Pretty Committee girl who was going out with an older guy, so she wouldn't be the only boy-less girl at lunch. Assuming that Vanessa was now in the Pretty Committee, of course. "Yeah," Massie agreed. "Hard-to-get never works and it's what all the B-listers think is in, so it's out."

Vanessa chuckled. "Nice logic."

"Wait." Alicia scooted forward on her sleeping bag. "What you said about your old school reminded me—hopefully I don't sound too rude for asking, but why did you come to Westchester with your sister?"

Vanessa felt her heart freeze for a moment, but she didn't let it show. "I just wanted a change of pace," she said suavely.

"Okay." Alicia didn't look totally satisfied, but she left it at that.

"So," Massie said, smoothing over the awkward moment. "I'll go next; I've got fashion. Alicia, time me."

Claire and Vanessa exchanged a glance as Massie started talking. Claire somehow knew Vanessa's insecurities. _I won't tell,_ she mouthed, and Vanessa smiled.

* * *

**_Hope you enjoyed the chapter!! As always, send in your reviews, PLEASE! _**

**_--MC_**


	14. Chapter 14

**_June 25, 2008_**

**_Guess what!! I'm in a generous mood, and haven't got anything better to do at this time...so here's Chapter 14..._**

**_--MC_**

* * *

**THE WESTCHESTER MALL**

**STARBUCKS**

**Saturday, September 1st**

**4:52 pm**

Claire sucked down her hot chocolate as the rest of the Pretty Committee, including Vanessa, compared their days' purchases.

The girls had slept in until eleven that morning after staying up until one in the morning gossiping and messing with all the new body products and makeup that Massie had recently stocked the wet section of the spa with. Then they had had brunch at Massie's house and headed for the Westchester Mall, where everyone except Claire had literally shopped till they dropped, weighed down by their many bags and in desperate need of a latte. Even Kristen had spent two hundred dollars that day. Claire, on the other hand, had bought one pair of Keds for twenty bucks.

When Massie, Dylan, Kristen, Alicia, and Vanessa were finally done with their analysis of their purchases and with their drinks, they all hoisted their bags and headed for the Range Rover. Isaac had to help them stuff everything in the trunk.

One by one, Isaac dropped them off at their homes. Finally, he took Massie and Claire back to the Block Estate.

When Claire entered the guesthouse, she kicked her shoes off and announced, "I'm home!"

"Hey," her father greeted her from where he was sitting on the couch, staring at the television. "How was shopping?"

"Oh, you know," Claire said jokingly. "Shop-ish."

Jay laughed. "Did you get anything good?"

Holding up her shopping bag, Claire replied, "Just a new pair of Keds. My old ones are kind of falling apart."

Jay turned back to the TV, nodding. Claire was about to head up to her bedroom when her dad stopped her again. "Wait a minute, Layne called. She wants you to call her back."

"Oh, okay." Claire set her bag on the stairs and went into the kitchen, where the phone was. She had, once again, forgotten to charge her cell phone. It was lying battery-less in her pocket.

Claire dialed Layne's number from memory and waited for her to pick up. "Layne?"

"Claire!" Layne sounded extremely enthusiastic. "I won three free movie tickets to _Last Stand_!"

"Awesome!" Claire exclaimed. "How?"

"I entered this sweepstakes contest a few weeks ago with this thing on my cereal box."

Claire laughed; that seemed exactly like something Layne would do.

"So, you wanna come to the movie with me?" Layne asked.

"Sure!"

"Do you know anyone else who'd want to come? I've got three tickets."

"Um…" Claire thought for a moment. "How about Vanessa?"

"Vanessa Boyd?" Layne's tone of voice was skeptical.

"Yeah," Claire replied.

"But isn't she, like, Massie's new BFF?"

"Kind of," Claire said. "But she's really nice. And she's new here. Being friends with Massie isn't going to make her feel completely at home." Claire didn't know if this was actually true, and she knew Layne would keep Vanessa's secret, but she had told Vanessa she wouldn't tell and she _was not_ going to tell.

"Fine," Layne agreed. "You'd better call her, right?"

"Yeah."

"'Kay, Chris will be around to pick you up in ten, alright?"

"Sounds good."

"Bye, then."

"Bye." Claire heard Layne hang up her phone and pressed the end call button. Then she looked up Vanessa's number and dialed it.

Somehow she had a good feeling about going to the movies with Layne and Vanessa.

* * *

**_Now here's the peremptory thanks for reading and please review! hee hee..._**

**_--MC_**


	15. Chapter 15

**_June 28, 2008_**

**_Hello again, here's chapter 15!! And just as a heads up, there are 38 chapters in the story and 3 alternate endings. You'll see when you get there...or you can see early by going to CoolFolk at coolfolk.!! lol IDK if that link will work...and yes, I'm just an advertisement _**

**_--MC_**

* * *

**THE MONTADOR**

**APARTMENT 713**

**Saturday, September 1st**

**7:32 pm**

Vanessa had a smile on her face as she let herself into the apartment. The night had been a lot of fun—Layne was really cool, in different way than the Pretty Committee was cool. Layne was unique and unafraid to be herself, and Vanessa had immediately taken a liking to her.

The movie had been lame, and the girls had spent their entire time throwing popcorn at peoples' heads and ducking when they looked in fits of giggles.

After hanging up her coat and slipping off her shoes, Vanessa went to her room and fished her vintage white Razr out of her hobo bag before dropping it on the floor. She plopped down on her bed and played the four messages that had stacked up during the two hours she had been at the movie. Vanessa might have been annoyed with her sudden popularity, but it made her feel important, having so many people calling her.

The first was from Kristen. "Hey, Vanessa, this is Kristen; I just wanted to tell you I got six tickets to tomorrow's game against East. Massie, Dylan, Alicia, Claire and I are all going. Sixth ticket's for you…?" Kristen paused before saying teasingly, "Julian'll be there! Call me back ay-sap to firm things up, 'kay? Bye."

Vanessa smiled at her cell phone screen, making a mental note to call Kristen back after going through her other messages. The next one was from Nate Francis, her lab partner.

"Um, hi…I'm just calling to ask if you wrote the conclusion for today's lab. Well, if you haven't, don't, because I just had this idea and I'll take care of it. And are you going to tomorrow's soccer game? You'd better come watch us wipe the floor with East!"

The next message was from her mom, who was still in LA. Vanessa's nose wrinkled in disgust as her mother's saccharine voice cooed, "Hey, honey, it's Mom. Just wanted to call to check up on you—how are you doing?" Vanessa felt like puking but let the rest of the message play. "Hope you're getting along with Morgan—I know how wacky she can be sometimes. Are you keeping up with seeing Dr. Cairn? Alright then, this probably wasn't the best time, considering you're not answering your cell, so call me back, okay?" _Well,_ Vanessa thought, _that's one call I'm not returning._ "Bye, Nessy," her mother finished.

Vanessa's thumb shot immediately towards the delete button and she punched it vehemently before scrolling to the last message.

"V, it's M, just wondering if it would be cool if I dropped over after the soccer game tomorrow. Sorry to intrude, but I just have to see your room." Massie paused and the recording buzzed with her exhalation. "Okay," she continued, sounding kind of sad, "the real reason is I'm tired of hanging out in huge groups, with the Pretty Committee and all the guys. I kinda wanna get to know you better…? I hope I don't sound totally LBR-ish." Massie giggled. "Well, call me back, or we can talk tomorrow. See ya."

Vanessa pondered what this meant for a moment. She knew it was probably some social move on Massie's part, but Vanessa supposed it would be all right for Massie to hang out at the apartment for a while. She'd have to consult Morgan, of course, but she was sure her aunt wouldn't really care.

Vanessa smiled and dialed Massie's number. Maybe her life was finally taking a turn for the better. Her parents might still totally antagonize her, but the social queen of her new school seemed to always want to hang out with her. Vanessa wondered if the friendship Massie was trying to build was genuine, or if she was just trying to get to Abby or something. But then she remembered what Claire had said.

_Hope for the best. Even if nothing works out, you'll know you did the right thing in hoping._

Massie picked up on the third ring. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's V," Vanessa replied.

"Oh. You got my message?" Massie's voice was expectant.

"Yeah." Vanessa twirled a strand of her raven-colored hair around her finger, wondering how she should say it. "That sounds great, about you coming over," she finally said. "I've been wanting to invite you."

Vanessa could almost hear Massie's smile. "Okay, thanks _so_ much," she gushed.

"No prob."

"So…" Massie trailed off before beginning again, "I'll see you at the soccer game tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Vanessa replied. "Could you tell Kristen I'd be honored to receive the sixth ticket?"

"Um, okay." Massie's voice sounded slightly puzzled. "Well, talk to you later, then."

"'Kay. Bye."

Vanessa listened to Massie hang up before closing her phone. She smiled to herself and grabbed the stereo remote, which was lying on her bed. Pressing the on button, she decided that she was going to try to be more hopeful. As cheesy as she had sounded when she said it, Claire was right. Even if bad things happened, hoping was the right thing to do.

Vanessa couldn't remember what CD was in the stereo, and she almost wrinkled her nose as she heard the first track of the advance copy of the _Freedom's Wind_ soundtrack Abby had given her. JoJo's voice crooned over the speakers.

_You're beautiful, but you don't know_

_Can't see what's there inside your soul_

_Always feeling like you're not good enough_

Vanessa didn't know the name of the song, but the lyrics suddenly touched her heart in a way that had never happened before. She sat still on her bed and let the song continue:

_You wish you could be someone else_

_Sometimes you just can't see yourself _

_But I can see just who you are, who you are…_

Just as Vanessa was pondering who the "I" in the song would be, Abby strolled into her bedroom. Vanessa stiffened as her older sister sat down on the bed next to her and slung an arm around her shoulders.

"So, where were you for the last, like, three hours?" Abby questioned.

Vanessa kept the emotion out of her voice. "At a movie."

"Oh yeah?" Abby removed her arm, sensing Vanessa's tension. "With whom?"

Vanessa contemplated how to reply. She also contemplated how she was supposed to hope for good in this situation. Abby's tone of voice certainly did not portend anything anywhere near good, and Vanessa didn't see how she could hope. _Whatever,_ she told herself. _Just _hope_. _Finally she replied suavely, "With my friends."

Abby's dark eyes flashed condescendingly, immediately picking up on Vanessa's confidence. "Ha!" She leaned back, as if looking at Vanessa in for the first time, before continuing, "What friends?"

Vanessa could feel herself bristling and all thoughts of "hope" shot out of her mind. Funny how quickly her mood and mindset could totally change. How _dare_ Abby say such a thing! "The ones who treated me better in five days," she growled, "than you have in fifteen years!"

Abby picked herself up from the bed. "Geez, chillax."

"I'll 'chillax,'" Vanessa mimicked sarcastically, "when you learn to be a human being!" She immediately regretted her rather lame comeback, but the anger inside her was too much for her to do anything.

"Fine!" Abby shot back, turned on her heel, and strode out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Vanessa took a deep breath, but it didn't help. Suddenly she couldn't stand the optimistic music. She hurled the remote at the stereo, but only succeeded in making the CD skip. Vanessa released a growl of fury and jumped off her bed, shoving aside the mattress and grabbing the knife.

Her vision blurred as she flipped open the knife blade, the silver and the rusty color of dried blood mixing together as her tears brimmed. She couldn't believe that she was allowing Abby to get to her like this. Just a few minutes ago, she had been thinking about how her life was taking a turn for the better and how she needed to learn to hope.

What kind of person was she? A hypocrite, for one, and weak and belligerent, for two more. A few moments after making a decision to hope, she was back to the nihilistic person she had always been. She wasn't worthy of herself.

Vanessa lifted the blade to her wrist and pressed the cold metal to her skin, but she paused there. Suddenly the words from the song that was still playing through her speakers reverberated increasingly loudly in her ears.

_You're exceptional the way you are_

_Don't need to change for nobody _

_You're incredible, anyone can see that…_

As the hot tears flowed down her cheeks, Vanessa bit the inside of her mouth. Claire's voice echoed in her head to the pulse of the song.

_Hope for good._

Vanessa let the knife slip from her hands and land with a dull thud on the carpet. She leaned against her bed and hugged her knees to her chest, letting JoJo's voice envelop her.

_When will you believe that you are_

_Nothing but exceptional?_

* * *

**_Hope you liked that, as usual thanks for reading and please review!! Okay these are the 3 things I always say--go to CoolFolk, thanks for reading, and GIVE ME YOUR REVIEWS!! haha lol..._**

**_--MC_**


	16. Chapter 16

**_July 12, 2008_**

**_Okay, I plan to add a few chapters today since I've once again been kind of apathetic..._**

**_--MC_**

* * *

**AUGUSTIAN DAY HIGH SCHOOL**

**SOCCER FIELD**

**Sunday, September 2nd**

**2:31 pm**

"As the home team today, we have the Augustian Day High Eagles!"

Massie, Claire, Alicia, Dylan, and Vanessa all stood and cheered, waving their maroon-and-white pendant flags as the Augustian Eagles Varsity soccer team jogged onto the field, expertly dribbling their black-and-white balls in random patterns and showing off their moves. Chris Abeley sat on Massie's other side, his shoulder pressed against hers and elevating Massie to a state of bliss. Kristen was with the rest of the girls' soccer team; their game had just finished and she should be showing up soon.

"On the other side of the field, we have the visitors, the East High School Spartans!"

The Pretty Committee and Vanessa shut up immediately and dropped back into their seats as the bleachers on the opposite side of the soccer field exploded.

As the East high supporters cheered and whistled, Kristen jogged up to the Pretty Committee, still wearing her soccer uniform. "Nice game!" Claire congratulated her. The girls' Varsity soccer team had won five to two against the Spartans. Kristen smiled, sat down between Alicia and Dylan, and faced the soccer field.

Within a few minutes, the game was well under way. East High was good, but the Eagles were better. Cam, Julian, and Emilio dominated the field, with the rest of the boys playing supportively. Derrington saved five goals and only let in one. Massie was surprised to find that he no longer did his butt-shaking after saving a goal…

By half time, the Eagles were up two to one, and they managed to keep it that way for the rest of the game. Massie had to admit that the second half was rather boring, with the ball just zooming up and down the field, but being able to feel Chris next to her more than made up for it.

When the final whistle blew, all the Eagles ran onto the field and started celebrating. Many spectators joined the party within moments, including the Pretty Committee. Augustian High had a tradition of having a mini-party on the soccer field right after a victory. The latest Fergie single started thumping out of the speakers and groups of teenagers on the pitch turned into a gyrating mass of bodies. Gatorade (some of it spiked with alcohol) was passed around.

Massie had never really liked the field parties, but dancing with Chris made it worth it. He actually knew some old-fashioned dance moves, and he spun her around and even dipped her so low that her hair brushed the emerald-colored grass.

As the final measures of the dance track petered out, the crowd dispersed, but the Pretty Committee, Vanessa, Cam, Emilio, Derrington, Josh, and Chris stayed on the field. "Girls, I'll meet you by the Range Rover in ten," Massie said, giving them a wave over her shoulder as she and Chris made their getaway.

Alicia and Emilio made a similar escape, and Kristen and Dylan declared that they were going to the bathroom.

"We're going to head for the lockers," Derrington said as he and Josh jogged off the field. Suddenly it seemed very empty with just Cam, Claire, and Vanessa.

"So, I guess it's just us, then?" Vanessa would have sounded awkward, but somehow, she didn't. It must have been her natural-alpha-ness, Claire thought.

Vanessa had turned her head to gaze at the silver tower at the edge of the soccer field. "Hey, I've been meaning to ask someone, what's that?" She gestured at the building.

"That's for science class," Cam replied. "You can go up to the telescope on the top. But students aren't allowed on the deck without teacher supervision. Last year a kid almost committed suicide by jumping off."

"Wow. It does look pretty dangerous up there…" Vanessa's voice was strangely breathless, and Claire wondered why.

"Well, should we just head for the car, then?" Claire suggested.

Vanessa nodded. "Okay."

Cam held up a hand. "Excuse us for a moment," he said to Vanessa. Then he swung Claire around and planted a gentle kiss on her lips. They finally broke apart after at least a minute of Vanessa looking away and pretending to whistle a cheery tune.

"Okay, let's go," Claire said when she pulled her lips away from Cam's and released herself from his arms. She waved to Cam as he headed in the other direction, and Claire and Vanessa started in the direction of Massie's Range Rover.

* * *

**_The usual: Thanks for reading and please review!! _**

**_--MC_**


	17. Chapter 17

**_July 12, 2008_**

**_Another chapter today..._**

**_--MC_**

* * *

**THE MONTADOR**

**APARTMENT 713**

**Sunday, September 2nd**

**8:19 pm**

Vanessa led Massie to her bedroom when they got to the apartment, saying, "Abby's out, acting for her movie, and my aunt Morgan always watches movies in her room on Sunday afternoon. Let's go to my room; you don't want to see Abby's or my aunt's."

Massie giggled a little awkwardly. "I won't ask."

"Good." Vanessa twisted the doorknob of her bedroom and let the two of them inside. They had dropped each of the girls off and then Isaac had driven them to the Montador.

Massie took in Vanessa's room with nonchalant eyes. There was a four-poster bed with white satin covers, a long window, a mahogany desk and dresser, a mahogany vanity with an ornately framed matching mirror. A creamy shag rug laid in the center, even though the floor was already carpeted in a dull gray color. With the exception of some textbooks piled on the desk, there was not an item out of place, and the room's orderliness pleased Massie. "Nice room."

"Thanks." Vanessa walked over to the stereo. "What do you want to hear?"

"I dunno," Massie replied, knowing she shouldn't be too pushy. "Whatever you have."

"Okay." Vanessa popped the latest Avril Lavigne CD into her stereo and pressed play. Guitars rumbled out of the speakers and Vanessa turned the volume down.

"No iPod?" Massie questioned, sitting herself down on the satin bedspread.

"Nah," Vanessa replied, plopping down beside Massie. "Don't like the downloading; don't have a computer." Vanessa gestured at her computer-less desk.

"Really?" Massie was genuinely shocked.

"Yep. I guess you could say I'm rather low-tech. I still have a Razr, after all."

Massie smiled. "Oh, yeah."

Vanessa nodded, and was silent for a moment before saying, "So what do you wanna do?"

"I dunno," Massie replied slowly. "I guess I just wanted to talk; get to know you better."

"That sounds like a mature thing to do," Vanessa quipped, "but what are we going to talk about?"

Massie felt the corners of her lips turn up again. This girl was a true and honest alpha. "Well, how 'bout the soccer game today? How do you think the boys did?"

"Ohhhh." Vanessa lay back on her bed and Massie looked down at her. "They kicked butt!"

"Of that, I can agree. Who was the hottest?"

Vanessa felt her cheeks heat up as she said, "Julian von Hart, hands down."

"Really?"

"Yeah…" Vanessa trailed off. "I'm not really all that experienced with boys…but I kind of like him."

Massie noticed Vanessa's cheeks turning the color of cherries and felt the urge to reassure her. "I'm sure a girl like you could get anyone you wanted."

Vanessa's violet gaze flickered and suddenly she looked more insecure than before. The expression lasted less than a second, and Massie could have imagined it. She wondered what that look of vulnerability had meant. But Vanessa quickly changed the subject. "You're going out with Chris Abeley, aren't you?"

"Yeah," Massie said, forgetting about how Vanessa had seemed so insecure. "I kind of think I…love him." Massie's eyes widened and she slapped a hand over her mouth. How had that slipped out? It must be Vanessa's alpha-ness that made her want to spill…

"Really?" Vanessa seemed unfazed by what Massie had said. Her amethyst eyes met Massie's amber ones. "I don't know what it feels like to be in love."

Massie was startled even more that Vanessa would make such a raw confession. She tried to search in the purple depths of the other girl's eyes, but suddenly they were cold. Massie kept a noncommittal look on her face as she changed the subject. "So…got any cool new clothes?"

Vanessa's eyes lit up again, and Massie was surprised by their impetuousness. "Yeah—Abby's wardrobe designer just sent me the cutest new dress. She does clothes especially for Abby and me, and my parents pay her."

"Wow," Massie said as Vanessa got up and went to her closet. "It's like you have a personal wardrobe person." She followed Vanessa as the girl threw open the mahogany doors.

"Yeah," Vanessa said. She reached into the closet and pulled a violet wrap dress out from the jungle of designer clothes.

"Ehmagawd," Massie gushed as Vanessa held the dress in front of her. "Love the shade!"

"I know." Vanessa looked down at herself. "I think it brings out my eyes." She looked back up, and Massie was so shocked by the utter match of color between the dress's fabric and Vanessa's eyes that she almost gasped.

"Eh. Ma. Gawd. It's like the dress was made for you!"

Vanessa stuck out her bottom lip like she was thinking. "It might have been. Abby's wardrobe lady is obsessed with my purple eyes."

"Who wouldn't be?" Massie said sincerely. "How did you get eyes like that?"

Vanessa carried the dress with her as she went to her mirror and peered at her own irises. "I don't know," she said. Her face was so close to the mirror that the reflective glass fogged with her breath. "Hey, you wanna see my makeup line?"

"Makeup line?" Massie walked over to the vanity as Vanessa slung the dress over the back of the chair and pulled open the vanity's only drawer.

Massie's jaw dropped. "Eh. Ma. Gawd." It was the second time she had said that in the last two minutes. Vanessa had every kind of makeup possible in the drawer, from every—wait. Massie reached into the drawer and pulled out a tube of mascara. It was clear, and there were absolutely no brand names or logos on the clear plastic. In fact, every container in the drawer was made of clear, nameless plastic.

"Abby's makeup artist sends us these," Vanessa explained. "Abby gets tons of overflow, and she always gives them to me. They're the nameless brands they use in the movies."

"They use nameless brands of makeup in movies?" Massie was shocked.

"Yep." Vanessa nodded. She picked up a container of tan-colored eye shadow. "This would go great with the makeup you already have on," she said to Massie. "And with your eyes." She handed Massie the container and a small brush.

Massie leaned her face into the mirror and brushed some of the tan shadow over the silvery shadow she already had on. She was startled with the way it contrasted and brought out her amber eyes. "Wow," she breathed. "It must be really great having a movie star as a sister."

Suddenly Massie saw Vanessa's reflection in the mirror stiffen. She put the eye shadow and brush down and looked at the violet-eyed girl.

"You wouldn't know," Vanessa almost whispered.

Massie's face turned sympathetic, and Massie herself was surprised to find that it was genuine. "What do you mean?"

Vanessa was silent for a long while. Finally she said, "I gotta go to the bathroom. I'll be back soon."

"Okay." Massie decided not to press her.

As Vanessa left the room, Massie sat back down on the bed. What had Vanessa meant by "you wouldn't know?" It was almost as if she were hiding something bad about being Abby's sister. Massie absentmindedly swung her right leg back and forth as she waited for Abby.

_Clink._

Massie stopped swinging. The heel of her Jimmy Choo had hit something, most likely metal. Massie suddenly wondered what it could be. In Vanessa's perfectly orderly room, what kind of metal object would be under the bed?

She slid off the satin bedspread and knelt down, wrinkling her nose at the thought of looking into the dark space. Massie didn't have to peer far, though, before she saw a red-handled Swiss Army knife. Its blade wasn't retracted.

_What the hell was that doing under there?_

Massie gingerly reached a manicured hand under the bed and carefully closed her fingers around the knife's handle. She slowly pulled it out and delicately held it to the light. Why did Vanessa have an open Swiss Army knife under her bed?

There was rust on the blade, and Massie chipped at it with her fingernail. Suddenly she let out a small scream, dropped the knife, and jumped out of the way as it hit the carpet.

That wasn't rust. It was blood.

* * *

**_sarcasm A CLIFFHANGER!! OMG!! lol, don't worry, I'm putting up the next chapter, too..._**

**_--MC_**


	18. Chapter 18

**_July 12, 2008_**

**_Enjoy another chapter today!! _**

**_--MC_**

* * *

**THE MONTADOR**

**APARTMENT 713, BATHROOM**

**Sunday, September 2nd**

**8:27 pm**

Vanessa sat on the closed toilet seat in the apartment's only bathroom. It was a rather large room, though, with three sinks, a bath, and a five by five square foot shower stall. A huge, shiny mirror plastered the wall with the sinks, and Vanessa stared at her reflection.

Massie couldn't have meant badly when she asked what Vanessa meant. In fact, Vanessa thought herself kind of stupid to have let the "you wouldn't know" slip out of her mouth. It wasn't Massie's fault, and maybe if they didn't bring it up again it would slide over.

Vanessa got off the toilet cover and smoothed her hair down even though it didn't need smoothing down. She let herself out of the bathroom and headed back to her bedroom.

Opening the door, she saw Massie crouched by the side of her bed. _What is she doing there?_

Suddenly Massie jumped back and gave a small shriek. She froze, staring at something on the carpet.

"What is it?" Vanessa raced to Massie's side and looked down at the carpet.

The bright red of the handle and the silver of the blade contrasted startlingly against the gray carpet. Vanessa froze, as well.

"Why the hell was there a knife under your bed?" Massie asked, her voice shrill. "And why was there dried _blood_ on it?"

Vanessa didn't know how to respond. What was she going to do? Should she just pretend she didn't know why the heck the knife was there?

There was no time for her to make a decision as to what to do, though, because at that moment the front door of the apartment banged open. Abby Boyd stormed in, an ominous and spiteful look on her face. Vanessa and Massie turned and heard her growl as she hurled her keys at the key bowl. They landed in the ceramic dish with such force that the dish slid off the small table it was on and cracked into three pieces on the floor.

Massie cringed as Abby slammed the door behind her and threw her black leather purse at the wall. Then the actress stomped towards Vanessa's open bedroom door. "Ugh!" she exclaimed. "That Joanna girl pisses me off!" She turned her angry eyes on Massie and recognition flashed across her face. "Aren't you that Daily Grind bitch from _Dial L for Loser_?"

Massie's brain was already churning up a comeback—how dare Abby call her a bitch! But Abby asked loudly, "What the hell are you two staring at?" She pushed through Vanessa and Massie and stepped right up to the knife.

She picked it up and held it in front of her, a saccharine smile suddenly plastered across her face. Vanessa's stomach dropped. When Abby got a look in her eyes like that, you knew she was going to tear you apart.

"Nessy," Abby cooed, her voice dripping molasses, "have you been cutting yourself again?"

Vanessa heard herself gasp as Massie whirled on her. Her amber eyes were wide as she exclaimed, "What the hell?"

No use covering it up now. Vanessa opened her mouth to object, but nothing came out except Abby's malicious chuckle. "It's true," the actress said. "Nessy here's a bit…emotionally challenged, shall we say."

Massie's jaw dropped, but she quickly snapped her mouth shut. She looked into Vanessa's violet eyes, searching for something to tell her that it was a lie, what Abby was saying, but all she saw were the eyes of a girl whose darkest secret had been revealed. Massie looked at her hard, but she couldn't see or feel any of the alpha that Vanessa usually radiated.

And suddenly she was angry. Massie should have known that no girl could be as perfect as Vanessa. She felt stupid and foolish and extremely naïve for thinking that this girl could undermine her social status. She narrowed her amber eyes at her. Vanessa was nothing but a fraud. "I can't believe you," Massie spat. She could almost swear she saw Vanessa's eyes fill with tears. But all Massie did was exhale sharply, letting out some of her anger, and stride out of the room.

Vanessa and Abby were both silent as she headed to the front door, picked up her purse, and let herself out. Massie was tempted to look back as she stepped into the hall, but all she did was shut the door quietly behind her. As dead to her as Vanessa Boyd was, she couldn't bring herself to slam the door.

And deep down in her heart, Massie knew that if she were really Vanessa's friend, she wouldn't have walked out on her.

* * *

**_No, the story is not ending soon...and guess what?? This isn't the main conflict...!! Lol, thanks for reading and send in your reviews (as usual!)_**

**_--MC_**


	19. Chapter 19

**_July 12, 2008_**

**_Chapter 19 is here...!!_**

**_--MC_**

* * *

**THE MONTADOR**

**APARTMENT 713, BATHROOM**

**Sunday, September 2nd**

**8:32 pm**

As Massie stalked silently out of the apartment, Vanessa felt tears spill out of her eyes. She had almost forgotten about the CD that had been playing, but it whirred to a stop as the last track ended. The room was utterly quiet, and Vanessa could hear her own heart pounding in her chest.

Her anger built up inside her until she felt like her skin was boiling and her eyes were popping out of her head. "Abby," she growled. Vanessa's voice rose to a hysterical screech. "_Get out!_"

Abby didn't seem fazed by Vanessa's rage. She gave her younger sister a saccharine smile and strolled out of the room as if nothing had ever happened.

Once Abby had closed the door behind her, Vanessa let the floodgates open. She screamed at nothing in particular and threw herself onto the bed, smearing hot tears and makeup onto the pillows and sheets before casting them to the floor.

That was it, then. Vanessa lay on her back and stared at the white ceiling, letting the tears leak out of the sides of her eyes. Abby had officially completely destroyed her life. No chance for fixing it now. To hell with hope.

Vanessa didn't even look for the knife. She knew that slashing her wrists wouldn't help now. She wouldn't be able to feel the pain or remind herself of her existence.

Because she was already dead.

Her body might still be breathing, but her heart, mind, and soul were gone. She had only left to take her body with her. Then she would be saved and freed.

Vanessa sat up and glanced in the mirror. She looked like a wreck. Her raven-colored hair was mussed and disheveled, and mascara and eyeliner streaked from her eyes in a hundred different directions. Her nose was puffy from crying and the whites around her violet irises were bloodshot.

Yet she looked better than she could ever remember looking. Because she knew the answer to all her problems now.

Getting up, Vanessa strode to her desk with a new purposefulness in her stride. She opened a composition notebook from school to a new page and picked up an ink pen. There was one person who deserved to know at least a little of what she knew she had to do.

* * *

**_ I know that was kind of a short chapter, but there's one more coming today...thanx and please review!_**

**_--MC_**


	20. Chapter 20

**_July 12, 2008_**

**_We're now up to Chapter 20!! woot!! That was 5 chapters today...and with luck this will happen more often. My goal is still to get everything posted by the end of this summer!_**

**_--MC_**

* * *

**THE RANGE ROVER**

**Monday, September 3rd**

**7:48 am**

Claire noticed that Massie was oddly silent as they got into the Range Rover Monday morning. She didn't ask, though, because she knew Massie would come out with it if it were something she was going to share. And if it wasn't something Massie wanted to share, well, then, Claire would never hear it.

Massie didn't speak until they picked up Dylan, and even then, as everyone looked at her expectantly, she kept her amber gaze averted. Finally Alicia asked, "Massie, what is it?"

Massie still didn't say anything. When she had gotten home from Vanessa's, she had wanted to run over to Claire's house and tell her what she had discovered about Vanessa. The Pretty Committee knew about her going to Vanessa's apartment, and how it was all part of the plan to make Vanessa one of them. But somehow Massie hadn't felt right about screaming Vanessa's secret to everyone, no matter how much of a gossip she usually was.

All day yesterday, as she sat at her desk trying to do her homework, she wrestled with herself inside her mind. Massie knew that everyone would expect her to tell. She even expected herself to tell. But her thoughts as she had walked out of Vanessa's apartment echoed in her head.

_If she really were Vanessa's friend, she wouldn't have walked out on her._

Massie felt some kind of obligation in her heart to make it up to Vanessa for what she had done. She was supposed to be Vanessa's friend, yet she had just hightailed it and run when she found out Vanessa's grotesque secret.

The alpha looked around at her friends' faces, all staring at her expectantly. She opened her mouth, but for once, Massie Block didn't know what to say. "Nothing," she finally managed.

None of the girls looked satisfied, but they knew better than to press their alpha. After a long, rather awkward silence, Kristen spoke up. "What happened to picking up Vanessa?"

Massie suddenly felt sad inside, sadder than she could remember feeling in a long time. Maybe she really was a true friend to Vanessa, and this was guilt at having left her in her moment of need? Massie shook the corny thoughts from her head. "Vanessa's parents are paying for a private chauffeur," Massie lied. "She didn't want the money to have to go to waste."

Kristen looked satisfied and sank back in her seat, but they passed the rest of the car ride in silence.

* * *

**_Okay that was kind of short too...lol anyways thanks for reading, please review, and hope you look forward to more chapters of TMOS!_**

**_--MC_**


	21. Chapter 21

**_July 13, 2008_**

**_Hello again, yes, it's a miracle, I'm updating ONE DAY after I last updated!! haha well I'm planning on putting up a few more chapters today...hope you enjoy!_**

**_--MC_**

* * *

**AUGUSTIAN DAY HIGH SCHOOL**

**LOCKER 377**

**Monday, September 3rd**

**8:03 am**

When Claire opened her locker that morning, a small scrap of folded paper fell out. She bent down and picked it up, looking around. Then, she admonished herself for being so paranoid; it must have been Massie and her suspicious silence during the car ride. Claire wondered what Massie was hiding and wanted to talk to someone about it—Dylan, Kristen, Alicia, anyone. But she knew that they didn't know what was up with Massie either. And all of them knew that they would never get something out of Massie that she didn't want to tell.

Claire shook those thoughts out of her head and looked at the folded note in her palm. It was probably just a romantic note from Cam or something. She opened it and her eyes widened as she read:

_Dear Claire, _

_Please don't look for me or call me any time soon, okay? And please, please don't ask why. I'm sorry for being so mysterious, but what's going to happen isn't something you can change. I want to thank you for being the wonderful person that you are and I want to let you know that all my problems will be solved soon. I apologize for all the pain I know I'll cause you, but trust me; it's for the best. I only hope that I'll be going to the same place that you are, so I can see you again someday._

_Love, your friend,_

_Vanessa_

Claire's stomach dropped. Maybe she did have a future as a psychiatrist, because it was only a moment before she realized what the piece of paper really was.

A suicide note.

All thoughts of Massie's suspicious silence shot out of Claire's head. Her heart thumping, Claire stuffed all her books and her backpack into her locker. As she did so, she wondered when Vanessa would be—she couldn't finish the thought. And where? How? Claire's head spun with questions and she wished Vanessa's note had been a little clearer. Was there anyone she could ask for help? Certainly not Massie—she didn't even know about Vanessa's problems. Layne? Layne didn't know Vanessa nearly as well as Claire did. What about Cam?

Suddenly a memory flooded Claire's head. It had only been the day before, when they were at the soccer game, when Vanessa had asked about the observation tower by the soccer field.

"_That's for science class_," Cam had explained. "_You can go up to the telescope on the top. But students aren't allowed on the deck without teacher supervision. Last year a kid almost committed suicide by jumping off._"

"_Wow_," Vanessa had replied, her amethyst eyes wide. "_It does look pretty dangerous up there…_"

They had dropped the subject then, but Claire had seen the look of fascination in Vanessa's eyes. Now Claire wondered how long Vanessa had been planning this. Did she really want to take her own life?

Claire felt her stomach clench. Somehow she knew that Vanessa was up there, right now, teetering on the edge of the observation deck railing. She slammed her locker, closed her fist around the note, and bolted through the crowd of students, heading for the observation tower as fast as she could.

* * *

**_As usual, thanks for reading and send in those reviews! _**

**_--MC_**


	22. Chapter 22

**_July 13, 2008_**

**_Here's chapter 22..._**

**_--MC_**

* * *

**AUGUSTIAN DAY HIGH SCHOOL**

**OBSERVATION TOWER, TOP DECK**

**Monday, September 3rd**

**8:04 am**

It was rather cold and extremely windy at the top of the observation tower. Vanessa walked towards the railing and put her hand on the shiny chrome pole that extended from it. She didn't know why there were taller poles among the three-foot poles of the railing, but it would be helpful for her when she needed to climb up.

The silver metal was icy and smooth under her palm as Vanessa gathered her white dress up underneath her. She was wearing nothing but a long baby-doll-type dress in snowy white, and the railing was cold underneath her toes as she hoisted herself up.

Vanessa didn't let herself look down as she used the tall pole to help her stand up. Her raven-colored hair lifted in the wind and her dress flapped around her ankles. Vanessa looked out over the Augustian High School campus and her stomach filled with something like hatred. She almost wanted to vomit, but compensated herself by letting silent, hot tears spill down her face.

It was actually quite beautiful out there, with white clouds scattered across the azure sky and the town spreading out beneath her. But that world didn't want her, and she didn't want the world.

Finally she looked down, and the tears came even faster, leaving burning trails down her cheeks. A few of them dripped towards the ground and out of sight.

Vanessa closed her eyes, steadied herself, and took the breath that she knew would be her last.

* * *

**_Are you on the edge of your seat now?? Don't worry, the next chapter's up, too!! _**

**_--MC_**


	23. Chapter 23

**_July 13, 2008_**

**_I'm sure y'all want to read what's next, so I'll shut up now...hee hee_**

**_--MC_**

* * *

**AUGUSTIAN DAY HIGH SCHOOL**

**OBSERVATION TOWER, FRONT DOOR**

**Monday, September 3rd**

**8:04 am**

Claire's heart was thumping in her chest so fast she thought she was going to have a heart attack. The front door to the observation tower, which was usually locked, was swinging open. Vanessa had to be in there…or up on the top deck.

Claire raced inside and headed straight for the stairs. She cursed the school district for not building an elevator in this stupid tower, knowing that she had a hundred and fifty feet of stairs to go up.

_Oh God,_ Claire thought. _Oh God, please don't let Vanessa have jumped already. It doesn't matter why she wants to do this, as long as she hasn't jumped already._ Claire's head soon filled with a steady beat—_don't jump, don't jump, don't jump…_

By the time she was halfway up, Claire's thighs felt like they were going to burn off, but she didn't let herself stop. Instead, she pushed her feet to move faster and her heart pumped even more rapidly than before. _Don't jump, don't jump, don'tjump, don'tjump, don'tjumpdon'tjump…_

Finally she burst through the top floor, almost being swept off her feet by a sudden gust of wind. Her eyes took a moment to adjust to the sudden bright sunlight and—

Vanessa was wearing a beautiful long white dress, standing on the railing and holding on to one of the taller poles. She glanced at the pole just in time to see the reflection of Claire bursting out of the door and onto the top deck.

Claire was breathless, her legs aching, but she managed to call, "Vanessa!"

Vanessa could feel her heart pumping a little faster at the sound of her name brushing her ears. The reflection of Claire in the silver pole was blurry, and it wasn't just from Vanessa's tears. She wanted to see her friend with her own eyes, one last time…

…even though turning around would mean she would never be able to jump.

Vanessa turned around and locked her amethyst eyes with Claire's baby blue ones.

* * *

**_Hope you didn't think I'd just kill of one of my main characters!! And I hope I'm not sounding too sappy...lol_**

**_--MC_**


	24. Chapter 24

**_July 16, 2008_**

**_Hello world!! how art thou!! Lol just felt like being random...I feel like I haven't had much to say recently in my Author's Notes, yet I can't forego them altogether or anything...haha anyways enjoy this chapter..._**

**_--MC_**

* * *

**AUGUSTIAN DAY HIGH SCHOOL**

**OBSERVATION TOWER, FRONT DOOR**

**Monday, September 3rd**

**8:05 am**

Claire could see the tears streaming down Vanessa's cheeks, and she could feel her own eyes welling up in an instant, irrational reaction.

"Please don't jump," Claire rasped. Her voice was torn away by the wind, but Vanessa seemed to get t the message anyways.

Her raven hair lifted in the wind, Vanessa tumbled from the railing.

Claire was just thankful that she landed on the observation deck and not on the soccer field, a hundred and fifty feet below. It took her a moment to swallow the lump of tears and gratitude in her throat and go over to Vanessa, who was kneeling on the deck, almost as if she were praying, with tears still running down her face.

"Claire."

Vanessa said her name as if they were star-crossed lovers who were being reunited after a decade, and suddenly Claire burst out in laughter. She reached down and pulled Vanessa to her feet, and Vanessa found herself laughing, too, and enveloping Claire in a hug.

"Thank you," Vanessa whispered as they stepped back a few seconds later.

Claire pretty much choked on her laughter. "I wish I could say no problem!"

The two girls finally calmed their guffaws and headed down the stairs as quickly as they could, hoping they could get to homeroom on time, even though Vanessa was shoeless. They dashed across the soccer field and back into the school, grabbed their books, and slid into their seats just as the bell rang.

Mrs. Gallagher shut the door a few seconds after the bell, and Claire felt everyone staring at her. Massie's questioning glare was the most unsettling, but she knew she couldn't tell Massie anything until she talked with Vanessa about it first. Why had Vanessa wanted to jump from the observation tower? Hadn't she been, well, improving since the music room incident on the second day of school?

"Marisa Allen!" Mrs. Gallagher read off of the attendance list.

"Here."

"Massie Block!"

"Here." Even as she said it, though, Claire could feel the amber eyes boring into her skull. She faced the blackboard and pretended not to notice.

"Vanessa Boyd!"

"Here," Vanessa said.

The teacher glanced at her over the student list. "Might I ask why you're not wearing any shoes?"

Vanessa felt her cold toes against the linoleum floors and suddenly felt like crying again. With these mood swings, maybe she was crazier than she had been before. "Can I have a pass to the…guidance office?" Vanessa knew the place was probably filled with corny counselors and delinquents, but she needed to get out of here.

Mrs. Gallagher gave her a funny look, but replied, "Sure," and wrote out one. Vanessa took the slip of paper and headed out the door, the bottoms of her feet slapping against the hard floor. She felt very silly in her white dress and bare feet and wondered why she had to be so dramatic, even if she had thought she was going to commit suicide.

_Suicide_. It all seemed so childish now, as if she had known all along she was never really going to do it. Maybe she never really had been going to kill herself.

The night before, she had been so dead inside that she hadn't been able to think of anything than the moment when it would all be over. Vanessa had imagined what it would be like, finally floating out of her body, away from the wretched world, and towards Heaven. But would she even be allowed? She had pondered over it for a long time before falling into a dark, dreamless sleep.

In the morning, she had been just as much in a catatonic state. She had arrived at Augustian High and headed for the observation tower. That staircase was seriously deranging. It was like every step had been a reliving of a terrible moment in her life. By the time she had reached the top, she hated everything, _everything._

Vanessa remembered standing on that railing, knowing that the world didn't want her; that it didn't care.

But one person had come after her. Claire had cared.

* * *

**_Was that too sappy or cheesy...?? As usual: thanks for reading and please review!!_**

**_--MC_**


	25. Chapter 25

**_July 16, 2008_**

**_Another chapter today! _**

**_--MC_**

* * *

**THE RANGE ROVER**

**Monday, September 3rd**

**3:13 pm**

Vanessa felt a little awkward with four pairs of eyes on her, but she could tell that their stares didn't have any negative feelings in them

Massie, Alicia, Kristen, and Dylan were all gawking at Vanessa. She and Claire had just told the rest of the Pretty Committee the whole story of Vanessa's cutting and suicide attempt. With Claire backing her up, Vanessa knew she could better herself enough to trust that the Pretty Committee wouldn't betray her.

It seemed as if the heavens were finally smiling down upon her, because, when the girls finally got over their initial shock, they were nothing but sympathetic for Vanessa's situation. As Isaac drove to Dylan's house to drop her off, they talked about how terrible it must have been for Vanessa, living how she had, and Vanessa didn't mind the pity.

Suddenly her cell phone rang. Digging around in her purse, Vanessa unearthed her white Razr and flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Vanessa!" Her mother's voice boomed through the speakers, not sounding happy at all. Scratch that part about the heavens finally smiling down on her.

Vanessa sighed. _It's my mom,_ she mouthed to the girls. "Yes, Mom?" she said into her phone.

"Nessy, I cannot believe you." Delia Boyd spoke every word as if they were daggers and she could stab Vanessa with them through the Razr. "Your father and I let you got to New York with Abby and you try to _commit suicide?!_"

Vanessa opened her mouth, but she didn't know what to say. It wasn't necessary to speak, though, because her mother just ranted on. "Were you keeping up with your visits with Dr. Cairn? If you were, you wouldn't have tried to do such a despicable thing! So you obviously weren't! You're lucky your school has such a wonderful guidance counselor! And you're lucky that girl went after you! You are so ungrateful—we give you a little freedom and you try to _kill yourself!?_ Well, you know what? It all ends now. I already talked to your school counselor and Dr. Cairn, and we all think it would be best for you to come back to LA where we can keep an eye on you. And for you to go into a rehab program."

This time Vanessa's jaw dropped in shock. Everyone was making questioning faces, but Vanessa ignored them. "What?" she said into the phone.

"You heard me, Nessy." Delia Boyd's voice was completely cold and hard. "You're coming home, and then going to rehab. I just booked you on a plane; you're coming back tonight."

Okay, scratch that part about the heavens smiling down on her, and scratch the part about scratching the part about the heavens smiling down on her. Replace all of that with _the heavens were frowning so hard on her that the edges of their mouths were falling off their chins!_

Vanessa couldn't believe it. After all she had gone through, her life had _finally_ been taking a turn for the better. And now her mother had to ruin it all! Vanessa felt a bubble of anger boiling up inside her. She should never have gone to that damn counselor's office! Then her mother would never have known, and she wouldn't have to leave Westchester _tonight_!

She heaved a massive sigh. No, she shouldn't be blaming Mrs. Key, the counselor. How was she supposed to have known that Vanessa's mother was a wretched witch?

"No, Mom," Vanessa said firmly into the cell phone. Then she snapped the Razr shut and turned it off.

* * *

**_You didn't think the story would be over after the suicide problem was solved, did you..?? I told y'all there'd be 38 chapters, and I will stay true to my word...yes, there's a second conflict coming up and I hope you anticipate it!! _**

**_--MC_**


	26. Chapter 26

**_August 2, 2008_**

**_Hey everyone, it's been a while since I updated due to my being on vacation, but I'm going to put up a few more chapters before I go to summer camp, where I won't be able to update...So here's chapter 26 _**

**_--MC_**

* * *

**THE MONTADOR**

**APARTMENT 713**

**Monday, September 3rd**

**3:21 pm**

Vanessa let herself into an empty apartment and kicked off her shoes. Aunt Morgan was at work, and Abby was in New York City for the movie shoot.

Vanessa went to her room, put her bag on the ground, and found her red Swiss Army knife still lying on the ground by her bed. She picked it up, flipped the knife blade closed, and curled her fist around it. She wanted to destroy it, demolish it, crush it into a thousand little pieces. Suddenly she had an idea.

First, she headed to her stereo and turned it on. It was tuned to some random radio channel, and an old country song flowed through the speakers.

_Why does the sun always shine_

_On the other side, on the other side_

_Why does it always have to be_

_Oh, raining, always raining on me…_

Vanessa turned the volume way up so that she could hear it all through the house. Then she went to the cabinet in the kitchen, where she knew Morgan kept the matches. She grabbed yesterday's newspaper off the kitchen table and ripped it into shreds as she headed for the balcony.

Looking up at the cloudy sky, Vanessa arranged her shredded newspaper into a little nest and put the Swiss Army knife in the center. Then she struck a match and threw it on the newspaper, watching orange, yellow, and red flames lick at the air.

…_Ain't no silver lining to be found_

_Everywhere I look, it's just another shade of gray_

_And I don't know why, and I don't know when_

_And I don't know where to begin…_

Possibly coincidentally, the sky was a thick layer of gray over Vanessa's head. She could feel the humidity in the air; the storm was about to break. But until she did, she could enjoy the smell of smoke engulfing the knife mixing with the stench of burning plastic and metal.

…_Why does the sun always shine_

_On the other side, on the other side_

_Why does it always have to be_

_Oh, raining, always raining on me…_

Finally the sky broke. Torrents of rain fell from the sky as if a dam had suddenly broken. Vanessa's fire fought for about a second before giving away to a plume of smoke and a pile of sodden newspaper.

…_I know there's a rainbow hiding just beyond the clouds_

_So I'll keep on keeping on, ain't gonna let it get me down_

_I won't let it get me down…_

Vanessa stepped backwards, back into the apartment, the top of her head and her shoulders dripping. Lightning crackled across the sky, accompanied a moment later by the boom of thunder. Closing the balcony door on the storm, Vanessa knew there was no rainbow hiding beyond her clouds.

* * *

**_Lol, that chapter was a bit melodramatic, but I hope you liked it. As usual, thanks and review please!_**

**_--MC_**


	27. Chapter 27

**_August 2_**

**_Here is the rather short chapter 27..._**

**_--MC_**

* * *

**THE RANGE ROVER**

**Monday, September 3rd**

**3:27 pm**

"Claire, we have to do something," Massie declared.

Isaac had parked the Range Rover on the Blocks' driveway, but Massie and Claire were still sitting in the back. After dropping Dylan, Alicia, Vanessa, and Kristen off, Massie had been completely silent.

"Huh?" Claire didn't know what Massie was talking about.

"We have to do something about Vanessa leaving," Massie said. "We have to stop her."

"But how?"

"I'll think of something," Massie said as they got out of the car.

Suddenly Claire's brain whipped out an idea. "Wait, it's Vanessa's mom who's forcing her to go back to LA, right?" She suddenly felt very insecure about proposing her plan.

"Yeah…" Massie nodded, her amber eyes searching Claire for what she was thinking.

"Well, Vanessa once told me that her parents listened to whatever Abby wanted," Claire said. "So if we can get Abby to talk to her parents, maybe she could convince them to let Vanessa stay."

Massie contemplated this. A hundred problems popped up, but she didn't think any of them would be unsolvable. "Good plan." She smiled, and Claire smiled back. "A little far-fetched, but it's definitely worth a shot." She opened the door of the Range Rover again. "Isaac, change of plans," Massie declared. "Take Claire and me to New York City. We need to get to the _Freedom's Wind_ set ASAP."

* * *

**_Umm I don't really have anything to say right now, so thanks and review as usual!_**

**_--MC  
_**


	28. Chapter 28

**Jan. 1, 2009**

**I can't believe i've been so insanely INACTIVE on fanfiction. net for the last like zillion months but i've been busy being a productive student and athlete and a lazy person who enjoys her winter vacation by sleeping and eating and reading Twilight. But my new years' resolution is to finish putting TMOS up on fanfiction. net. so that's what i'm doing--i'm just going to put up all the chapters as quickly as i can, ignoring all need for authors' notes, etc. here i go. =] --MC**

* * *

TIMES SQUARE, NEW YORK CITY

_FREEDOM'S WIND_ SET

Monday, September 3rd

4:16 pm

It took Massie and Claire less time than expected to find the _Freedom's Wind_ set. Isaac had driven them to New York City as fast as he could, but just as they were on the city's outskirts, Claire noticed a sign that said TIMES SQUARE BLOCKED OFF—MOVIE SHOOTING. PLEASE FIND A DETOUR

So they had headed straight for Times Square, but yellow police tape and a cop with a loud whistle stopped them. It was almost as if Times Square was a crime scene.

Massie and Claire hopped out of the car, promising to meet Isaac at the parking lot down the street as soon as their job was done. The two of them walked up to the policeman as confidently as they could.

"What you here for?" the cop asked gruffly.

"We're here to see Abby Boyd," Massie replied.

"You got an appointment or somethin'?" The policeman looked down at Massie suspiciously.

Massie put a desperate look on her face. "No, but it's an emergency!"

"Too bad," the cop said. "No appointment, no seein' Abby, emergency or not."

"But—" Massie protested, only to be cut off by Claire, who tugged the sleeve of her Calvin Klein jean jacket.

Claire led Massie behind a parked car so that the cop couldn't see them, but they could still see the set. Cameras were pointed at Abby and a male actor from all angles as they exchanged a dialogue that was inaudible over the whooshing sounds of cars passing by.

"See that chair?" Claire pointed at a purple director's chair off to the side, by the edge of the yellow tape where many crew members were standing. It said ABBY in glittery letters on the back.

"Yeah," Massie replied.

"I think that's where Abby will go after they shoot this scene," Claire said. "If we wait there, then, when she's done, we can hopefully talk to her."

"But what about the crew people?"

"Abby knows us," Claire told Massie. "And if we stay on this side of the tape, the crew guys can't make us go away."

"Okay." Massie nodded. "Let's go wait over there, then."


	29. Chapter 29

TIMES SQUARE, NEW YORK CITY

_FREEDOM'S WIND_ SET, ABBY BOYD'S CHAIR

Monday, September 3rd

4:19 pm

Not long after that, Abby headed over to her purple chair and took a seat, sighing. A woman with a makeup box stood in front of her, re-powdering her face.

Massie and Claire were standing as close to the chair as they could, which was about two meters away, but the crew people seemed to be purposely standing in between them and Abby.

"Shout her name," Massie said.

"No, you do it."

"Abby hates me. You have to do it, Claire."

"Fine." Claire cupped her hands around her mouth and took a deep breath. "Abby!"

"Hey!" A crew member stepped up to her. He was a portly man with large headphones over his ears. "No fans allowed!"

"But we're not fans," Claire said. "We really need to talk to her."

"Too bad." The crew guy stared Claire down.

Suddenly Abby came scurrying up to them. "Wait, wait, wait, Mark," she said to the crew guy. "It's okay."

"Abby," Mark-the-crew-guy said. "You're on in five minutes; you need to get your makeup done. Let me take care of these fans."

Abby laughed. "Oh, they're not fans."

"Do you know them?" Mark looked very puzzled.

"Yeah," Abby replied. "Now go do whatever you're supposed to be doing."

Mark scowled and stalked off.

"Okay, what do you two want?" Abby didn't look happy.

Massie and Claire took turns explaining Vanessa's situation as fast as they could. As Abby listened, the expression on her face stayed noncommittal.

Claire felt strangely nervous as she finished the story. Abby looked back at her with a blank face.

"So we want you to talk to your parents," Massie said softly. "We think you're the only one who can convince them to let Vanessa stay."

Abby's face stayed blank for a moment longer, and Claire's stomach twisted. _What was the actress going to say?_

Abby's brown eyes flashed. "You guys really are Vanessa's friends, aren't you?"

Massie and Claire nodded slowly.

Abby's face softened. "Okay. I'll call my mom as soon as I can find my cell. You guys wanna stick around?"

Massie and Claire both beamed. "Sure!" they said in unison.

Abby lifted the tape and the two of them ducked under it. Then all three girls headed back to Abby's chair. Abby hopped back into it while Claire and Massie stood off to the side. "Get me my cell phone," Abby demanded of the nearest crew member.

The woman went to a Louis Vuitton purse on top of a large black box. She grabbed the purse and handed it to Abby, who dug a small silver phone out of it. Massie and Claire waited with bated breath as Abby called her mother.

"Mom? …yeah, it's me. Listen what's this about Vanessa having to go back to LA?" Abby paused and listened to her mom for a few moments. "Oh…but she's been doing so well here! …Yes, I know she tried to commit suicide, but her friends have totally turned her around…Yes, in the course of one day. You don't get it, Mom—" Abby sighed; apparently her mother had cut her off.

This time she was silent for longer before saying, "Mom, I really think you should let Vanessa stay. She's got her friends and me to take care of her…Of course you can trust me, and her friends are really good people." Abby paused again and Claire and Massie giggled at being called "really good people."

After a while, Abby continued. "Mom, we know her better than the rehab people, wherever she's going! …But you would totally be ruining her life if you made her leave now…Yes, I _know_ she tried to commit suicide, but it didn't work, did it? …Yes, I know that too, but we'll keep an eye on her. Like I said, we know her better—"

Abby looked like she was getting frustrated, and she tried to rake a hand through her hair but couldn't because of all the hair spray that was there. Claire felt her stomach drop at Abby's expression.

"Mom, wait!" Abby's voice was truly desperate now. Claire wondered if she was acting or if she really felt so strongly about getting Mrs. Boyd to let Vanessa stay. "It is _not_ for the best," the actress declared. "Mom!" Suddenly Abby heaved a huge sigh and brought the phone down from her ear. She stared at the screen for a moment and then flipped it closed.

Abby looked and Massie and Claire with true apology in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said softly, shaking her head. "My mom wouldn't listen."

Claire felt her shoulders droop and the hope in her heart whoosh out.


	30. Chapter 30

THE MONTADOR

APARTMENT 713

Monday, September 3rd

6:28 pm

Delia Boyd called her sister's apartment at six twenty-eight that evening. Vanessa was in her bedroom, doing the schoolwork she had missed that day on account of being at the counselor's office. She wanted to talk to Claire, or Massie, or even Alicia or Kristen or Dylan, but she didn't have a computer, and she didn't dare turn her cell phone on. She knew her mother had left at least a hundred messages for her.

The Pretty Committee had been sympathetic to the fact that Vanessa was going to have to leave. Massie had promised to find a way to get her to stay, and the rest of the girls had vowed to help. But Vanessa knew their assurances were in vain. No matter how firm she had been in hanging up on her mother, she knew that there was no defeating Delia Boyd.

Vanessa could hear her mother leaving a furious message all the way from her bedroom.

"Vanessa Amelia Boyd! How dare you hang up on me and turn your phone off! Do you _know_ how much strife you've caused me? I have been calling your cell phone nonstop ever since this afternoon! I had to take the rest of the day off from work! Vanessa, you are coming back to Los Angeles and going to rehab on an airplane tonight! _Tonight!_ I booked you _first class_ on _short notice_, do you know how much money and time that cost?! And what was up with Abby calling trying to convince me to let you stay in Westchester? If it weren't for her movie, she would have to come back, too! If you're not going to pick up, I'm calling Morgan! That's it, I'm calling Morgan!"

Vanessa ignored the message and finished her last algebra problem. It had taken her about three hours to do everything she had missed, plus her homework, but she was finally done. Morgan should be coming back any time now, and Abby, too. Vanessa wondered how Morgan would respond to Delia's demands. Aunt Morgan had always acted inferior to her older sister.

But how could she go back to Los Angeles _now_? She finally had friends and was looking forward to the next day. Well, she would have been, except for the fact that she would probably be landing in California then.

Vanessa was torn inside. She knew she should fight her mother; she knew she wanted to fight her mother, but Delia Boyd was not someone you fought. Delia got her way no matter what; that had always been the way it was and was probably the way it was always going to be. Even though she had said no to her mom and hung up in Massie's Range Rover, it had just been an act. And no matter how much hope she had been filled with since Claire saved her that morning, there was no hope to defy her mother.

The front door opened, and Morgan stepped inside. Vanessa stayed on the chair by her desk, doodling on the side of her algebra homework.

"Vanessa!" Aunt Morgan called. "We have to get dinner quick. You have to be at the airport by seven; your plane takes off at eight."

Vanessa took a deep breath and put her homework and books in her backpack. Suddenly it hit her that if she was going to California, she wouldn't be at Augustian High to turn her homework in.

She headed out of her bedroom and faced her aunt, who was putting leftovers from the previous night in the microwave. "What if I don't want to go?" Vanessa asked softly.

Morgan caught her eyes. "You have to," she said just as gently. "Your mother decrees it. She said that she would fly out here herself and drag you back to California if you didn't get on this plane tonight. And she would make you pay for the ticket you wasted. But rehab is for your own good, you know." She pulled the fried fish out from the microwave and set it on the counter. "Eat that, and get packed."

Vanessa got a fork and stabbed the fish. It looked like she had no other choice but to go.


	31. Chapter 31

TETERBORO AIRPORT

LOADING GATE 13, WAITING AREA

Monday, September 3rd

7:54 pm

Vanessa's phone rang as she sat in the waiting area with her back to the floor-to-ceiling window. It was almost dark outside; the silhouettes of the airplanes were ominous against the sliver of sun on the horizon.

Vanessa had just one small suitcase along with her purse, and she pulled the suitcase closer to her as she answered her phone. She had turned it on and deleted all of her mother's messages while she waited.

Aunt Morgan had dropped her off at the airport and left her there alone. Vanessa didn't understand why she couldn't stay; why her aunt had to leave in her moment of need. Vanessa had found her loading gate, 13, and had been waiting there for almost fifteen minutes now.

Vanessa held the white Razr to her ear. "Hello?"

"Vanessa?" Massie's voice on the other end asked.

"Yeah, it's me," Vanessa replied.

"Hi, we're on speakerphone," Claire's voice said.

"Oh, hey."

"You sound so sad." Massie seemed sympathetic.

"Yeah. My Aunt Morgan is forcing me to go back to LA. To my freaking mother."

A sigh came through the phone. "We tried to convince your mom to let you stay," Claire said. Then she and Massie relayed the story of how they had asked Abby to talk to Mrs. Boyd, and how Mrs. Boyd refused to be swayed.

"Wow…thanks, guys." Vanessa's heart lifted a little at the fact that her friends had tried so hard to find a way for her to stay. "But you know my mom never listens."

"We thought she'd listen to Abby," Claire said.

Vanessa sighed. "I guess not."

"Yeah…" Claire's voice trailed off. "Well, we would have called you sooner, but we were stuck in rush hour and for some reason neither of our cells could get a signal. So we were doing our homework."

Vanessa smiled a little at this superfluous fact. "Listen, that was really nice of you," she said.

"No problem," Massie replied. "But it didn't work." Now she sounded dejected.

"But at least you tried." Vanessa couldn't really say the same for herself.

"So where are you right now?" Claire questioned.

Vanessa looked around her at the people in the waiting area. "I'm in the airport," she told Claire. "I'm waiting to board my freaking plane."

"Ehmagawd," Massie said softly. "I can't believe you're leaving."

"How long is rehab going to be?" Claire asked meekly.

Vanessa shook her head, even though they couldn't see it. "I don't know. I didn't want to ask my mom."

"Oh." Claire's voice was sad. "Will you try to come back to Westchester afterward?"

"Of course," Vanessa said. But she had a feeling that her parents weren't going to let her.

"_All passengers on flight 214, please board now. Last call for all passengers on flight 214."_ A male voice boomed over the speakers in the airport.

"Was that your flight call?" Claire asked.

"Yeah." Vanessa sighed, her heart heavy. She was really leaving the only true friends she had. "I better go."

"Bye," Claire and Massie chorused. Then Claire said, "Call us soon! Or email or something!"

"I will." The girls said their goodbyes and Vanessa snapped her phone shut, blinking her eyes against the tears. _I hate you, Mom, _she thought as she put her phone in her purse, grabbed her suitcase, and got in line to board.

Before she knew it, she was taking her seat in the first class section of the airplane. The guy next to her was a blonde college-age dude who smiled at her as she put her suitcase in the overhead compartment. "Jeff Brawley," he introduced himself as she sat down.

"Vanessa Boyd," Vanessa said softly. She shook Jeff Brawley's hand.

Vanessa pulled her CD player out of her purse. She really wished she had an iPod, because she only had one CD in the player. The rest were in her suitcase, which she wouldn't be allowed to access until after takeoff.

Putting the headphones on her ears, Vanessa ignored whatever the pilot or the flight attendants where saying. She looked through the window at the darkness outside as Mariah Carey's voice filled her ears.

_Somehow I know that there's a place up above_

_With no more hurt and struggling_

_Free of all atrocities and suffering_

_Because I feel the unconditional love _

_From one who cares enough for me _

_To erase all my burdens and let me be free…_

_Whose unconditional love do I feel?_ Vanessa wondered as the plane rumbled beneath her and started its taxi.

…_Fly like a bird, take to the sky_

_I need you now Lord, carry me high_

_Don't let the world break me tonight_

_I need the strength of you by my side_

_Sometimes this life can be so cold_

_I pray you'll come and carry me home…_

The Lord. Vanessa couldn't believe that God was out there, not when he let lives like hers continue the way they did.

_No._ Vanessa shook her head. No more being suicidal. She had done enough with not rebelling further against her mother. The rumbling of the plane drowned out much of the music, but its steady rhythm comforted her.

…_Fly like a bird, take to the sky…_

…_Carry me higher, higher, higher…_

…_Whoa…I need you…_

Mariah's whistle register voice echoed in her ears. Maybe her life was being absolutely brutal and unfair to her. But that didn't mean that she couldn't be a better person and not let it drag her down.


	32. Chapter 32

BLOCK ESTATE

MASSIE'S BEDROOM

Monday, September 3rd

7:59 pm

Claire and Massie looked at each other over Massie's cell phone, whose screen now read _Connection Ended._

"I can't believe she's gone," Massie said.

"I know." Claire rolled over on Massie's bed so that she was facing the ceiling, her blond hair fanning out around her. "But she'll be back, right?"

"That's what she said," Massie replied, "once she gets out of rehab." She picked up her metallic purple cell phone, snapped it shut, and set it on her nightstand. Then she lay back so that she was imitating Claire.

"But who knows how long that's going to be?" Claire's voice was sad.

Massie sighed at her perfect white ceiling. "I don't know." She paused and turned her head so that she was looking at Claire. "You and Vanessa really _were_ friends, weren't you?"

Claire kept her eyes on the ceiling and gnawed on her bottom lip for a moment before saying, "Yeah." Then she turned to face Massie. "Why, were you not?"

Massie opened her mouth, the automatic, "Ehmagawd, _no_" on the verge of slipping off of her tongue. Then she closed it for a moment, her lips feeling naked without their ubiquitous coat of gloss. "I don't know," Massie finally said.

Claire's baby blue eyes seemed to drill into Massie's skull, and she wanted to look away. But she kept her fiery irises locked with Claire's icy ones. "You're telling the truth, aren't you?" Claire's voice was barely a whisper.

Massie's lips curled into a small smile. "I think I'm telling the truth when I say, yes."

Claire's brow furrowed for a moment as she comprehended Massie's words. Then she smiled, too. "You were," Claire said. "You were Vanessa's friend, too."

Massie was silent for almost a minute. Then she whispered, "Thanks, Claire."

The girls didn't speak for a long while. Staring at the ceiling, each of them was wrapped in her own thoughts. But finally Claire broke the quiet. "Vanessa doesn't _need_ rehab!" Her voice was strangely vehement.

Turning her amber eyes on Claire again, Massie replied, "I know. She was going to be just fine, thanks to you."

"Ugh!" Claire rolled over and punched the white comforter, her blue eyes dark. Then the fight seemed to drain out of her, and she slumped on Massie's bed. "The truth is," Claire mumbled almost inaudibly, "I don't know why this is making me so sad. I mean, we have email and phone and everything."

"No," Massie said softly. She scooted over so that her head was right next to Claire's, but pointing in the opposite direction. "The truth is, we'll really miss her."


	33. Chapter 33

OJAI MENTAL INSTITUTE

FRONT DESK

Tuesday, September 4th

11:28 pm

Vanessa stayed silent as her mother checked her into the Ojai Mental Institute in Ojai, California. She had assumed the scoffing-rich-girl-being-sent-to-mental-institute role and was tapping her designer-boot-clad foot against the hard tile floor. Huge sunglasses covered half her face, making all the colors a shade of ebony.

She really couldn't believe that her mother was checking her into a _mental institute._ Vanessa had decided on the plane to just be a good girl and get out of rehab as quickly as possible. But first of all, she didn't need rehab—she was _so_ not going to attempt suicide again. That would be like going back to the dark place that Claire had worked so hard to get her out of. And second of all, even if she needed rehab, it didn't have to be Ojai Mental Institute.

Vanessa yawned and exaggerated it for her mother's sake. She had hardly slept on the plane and hadn't been able to sleep much in her old bedroom at her parents' mansion in Bel Air, either. When her plane had touched down, it was eleven at night, California time. Of course, her parents weren't going to meet her at LAX an hour before midnight. Some random chauffeur guy had driven her to their estate in Bel Air, where she had stayed the rest of the night. In the morning, she and her mom were chauffeured to Ojai.

And now they were here. At the front desk of a _mental institute_. Vanessa half wanted to gag, half wanted to snatch her mother's purse, buy herself a ticket back to Westchester, and get Alicia's dad, who, according to the Pretty Committee, was a renowned lawyer, to put a restraining order on her parents.

But none of that was going to happen. _You might be a scoffing-rich-girl-being-sent-to-mental-institute, but you have to pretend to be a good scoffing-rich-girl-being-sent-to-mental-institute, _Vanessa told herself.

"Okay, Nessy," Delia Boyd cooed as if her daughter were mentally retarded, not supposedly mentally unstable. "Here's your key card. Follow the nurse to your room, okay?"

Vanessa tried not to wrinkle her nose at her mother's saccharine tone of voice as she snatched the card from her mother's hand and sauntered behind the nurse, dragging her Louis Vuitton suitcases behind her.

The nurse stopped at room 13. "Card," she said simply, pointing at the device on the door for sliding the key card through.

Vanessa swiped her card and the little light flashed green. Twisting the handle, the nurse held the door open for Vanessa as she lugged her two suitcases in.

The room wasn't shabby at all, with a twin-sized bed, a desk, dresser, mirror, and a large window with a view of a gold field. There was a wide closet, and the floor was covered with odd brown carpet, but it was pretty much just like an average hotel room. If only this place were a hotel.

"Get yourself settled and come down to the front desk when you're done, okay?" The nurse smiled sweetly. "Your counselor will be here to meet you at twelve o'clock."

Vanessa sighed as the nurse left and closed the door behind her. She set her suitcases upright and went over to the wide window. Sunlight streamed in and Vanessa watched a white-roofed golf cart roll over the grassy hills. She pulled the sunglasses off of her face.

_You will get out of here,_ Vanessa told herself. _Soon._


	34. Chapter 34

OJAI MENTAL INSTITUTE

FRONT DESK

Tuesday, September 4th

12:01 pm

Vanessa sauntered into the front lobby a minute late, scanning the room with her amethyst eyes for whoever was supposed to be her counselor. The only person there, other than the receptionist, was a young woman with honey-brown hair. She was sitting casually in one of the chairs, wearing a white tank top, blue jeans, and flip-flops.

Vanessa's eyes skimmed over her, but returned when the woman stood up and headed over to Vanessa. "Hello," she said, smiling and extending a hand for Vanessa to shake. "I'm Emma Starr, and I'm the teen counselor here at Ojai."

Hesitantly, Vanessa shook the woman's hand. All of a sudden, she didn't know what to think. She had been expecting a patronizing, corny psychiatrist like Dr. Cairn. Instead, here was this casually-dressed woman who seemed to be barely out of college. "Vanessa Boyd," she said politely.

Emma Starr smiled. "Nice to meet you. Now let's get out of this metal-filled place." She beckoned for Vanessa to follow and headed out the front door, her flip-flops slapping against her feet.

The moment they got outside, Vanessa wished she had brought her sunglasses. The sun was blinding, and she squinted as she trailed behind Emma Starr towards a golf cart parked at the curb.

Emma Starr got into the driver's seat and Vanessa perched on the passenger chair. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see." The woman's blue eyes sparkled. She started the cart and drove them right through a break in the fence and onto the golf field. Then she steered towards the forest at the edge of the field.

"The forest?" Vanessa questioned derisively.

Emma Starr turned to Vanessa as she parked the golf cart at the edge of the trees. "What, are you afraid of getting those designer boots muddy?" Her face, though, was smiling.

Once again Vanessa didn't know what to think. "No," she replied.

"Then let's go."

The two of them walked into the forest and Vanessa immediately stopped squinting under the shade of the greenery above. Surprised to find huge redwoods lining a golf course, Vanessa let her eyes roam through the forest. There was hardly any underbrush, so walking wasn't difficult at all.

Emma Starr led Vanessa to tiny grassy clearing deep enough into the forest so that they couldn't see the golf course. There were two smooth logs in the middle of the clearing and they sat down, facing each other.

Vanessa looked at the woman a little awkwardly. "So…Miss Starr?"

"Call me Emma."

"Okay, Emma," Vanessa began again, "what are we doing here?"

Emma laughed softly, her voice sounding almost melodic. "That's a good question. What _are _we doing here?"

Vanessa looked at the woman quizzically. Emma leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, her long, straight brown hair falling forward. "Wait," Emma said. "The first thing we're going to start with is a pact of honesty."

"Pact of honesty?" Vanessa was starting to get a little weirded out.

Emma nodded. "I'm going to promise you right now that I will not lie to you. But in return, you have to promise not to lie to me."

Vanessa blinked three times. "Why?"

"Well, I want you to become an honest person," Emma said, taking her elbows off of her knees and sitting up straight. "And I want you to learn what it means to make a promise. But most importantly, it's so that I can help you."

Cynicism got the better of Vanessa as she inquired, "And how do I know you're going to help me?"

"I promised not to lie, remember?"

Vanessa flared her nostrils. This woman was crazy. "How do I know you'll keep your word?"

Emma's lips curled into a closed-mouthed smile. "You'll just have to trust me on that."

Vanessa's brain flashed back to what Claire had said in the music room on the second day of school. _You just have to take it, you know?_ Claire had been talking about hoping, but Vanessa felt like she could apply what Claire said here, too. She locked her eyes with Emma's and nodded.

"So will you promise me?" Emma asked gently.

"Okay. I promise not to lie to you." Vanessa was surprised at how uplifting it felt to say that.

"Then tell me why you're at Ojai."

Brain freezing, Vanessa immediately took back her last thought. It was _not_ uplifting to promise not to lie! The only reason she was here was because of her fucking mother. But she couldn't say that. Delia Boyd would find out somehow; she always did.

"Don't worry," Emma said, seeming to read Vanessa's mind. "Everything you say here is confidential. No one, and I mean _no one_, will know without your permission. Even though you're a minor."

Vanessa gnawed on her bottom lip a little, ruining the coat of gloss she had applied before leaving her room. But she didn't care. "I'm at Ojai," she began, "because my mother forced me to come here."

Emma nodded solemnly, prompting her to go on. "Not because you have a mental problem?"

The automatic answer was on the tip of Vanessa's tongue—"No!" But she closed her mouth, remembering her promise to tell the truth. "Well, I don't know."

"You don't know if you have a mental problem?"

Had it been Dr. Cairn asking that, Vanessa would have become defensive. She would have said, of course she knew, and of course she _didn't_ have a mental problem. But she glanced at Emma's face and was surprised at how much the woman's eyes reminded her of Claire's. Vanessa could somehow tell that Emma truly wanted to help her, just like Claire.

"No," Vanessa said, averting her gaze to her hands, which were lying in her lap. "I guess I don't."

"Then let's start there," Emma said, smiling. "All problems have solutions, and we're going to find the solutions to yours."

The negative side of Vanessa chimed, _She's just spinning you a tale!_

But the positive side held its head high. _She promised not to lie, remember?_


	35. Chapter 35

AUGUSTIAN DAY HIGH SCHOOL

FRONT STEPS

Friday, September 7th

3:11 pm

Four days since Vanessa left. For four days, Claire had been going through the regular motions of her days. For hours at a time, she would forget about Vanessa. But then she would see Vanessa's empty seat in homeroom, or think about calling her, and it would all come flooding back.

Claire tried to convince herself that Vanessa was better off at rehab. The girl had tried to commit suicide, after all. Claire told herself that she had only known Vanessa for around a week, and that she was just one of the many friends that the Pretty Committee would have and lose. But both statements were lies, and Claire knew it.

And she couldn't help wondering why the only time Vanessa had called was on Tuesday morning. Claire had been in class, so Vanessa had left a message saying to call her back. But when Claire had tried, she'd gotten Vanessa's voice mail. Claire had repeatedly tried calling her over the next few days, making sure she had a time when both of them would be available, but Vanessa never answered.

As she walked out of school on Friday that week, Claire knew she should be with the Pretty Committee. Labor Day that year had been switched to the second Monday of September, and they were planning a weekend getaway at St. Bart's before the warm weather faded off. But Claire found herself alone in the crowd of students rushing to get to their cars.

Suddenly Claire stopped. Someone was waving at her—someone she would have bet she would _never_ see on Augustian Day High School grounds. She was standing by a silver sedan in the parking lot.

Abby Boyd.

When the actress noticed that Claire saw her, she gestured wildly for Claire to come over. Abby seemed strangely on-end.

Claire pushed through the crowd and stopped when she got to Abby and the small car. "Um, hi?"

"Claire!" Abby exclaimed. "I need your help."

"Huh?" Claire was extremely confused. Why was Abby Boyd here? What did she need Claire's help for?

"Would your parents mind if you went away for the weekend?"

"What?"

Abby checked the Coach watch on her left wrist. "Oh god, the plane leaves in thirty minutes! Why does your freakin' school let out so late!"

"_What?_" Claire could not figure out what was going on.

But she didn't need to figure out, because Abby grabbed her arm, opened the passenger side door of the car, and shoved her inside. Then she ran around the front of the car and let herself in the driver's side. She pulled a key out of the front pocket of her Sevens and started the car.

"What is going on?" Claire asked desperately, shoving her backpack onto the floor of the car, next to her feet. "Where are you taking me?"

Abby steered the car out of the parking lot and turned right. "We have half an hour to get on the plane," she said. "I'll explain when we get on the highway."

Claire buckled her seatbelt and clutched at the strap as Abby accelerated the car. They were heading out of town and towards the highway. Abby was a crazy driver, and the car swerved back and forth, the surrounding drivers all honking at her. Claire held onto the seatbelt and the door handle with all her might to avoid being thrown around. "Where did you learn to drive!?"

"I didn't," Abby replied calmly.

"_What?!_" Claire screeched.

"I never needed to know how to drive. But now I do. So hold on tight!" Abby kept her eyes fixed on the road, driving seven miles over the speed limit.

Claire's heart started thumping. An actress who didn't know how to drive had practically abducted her, and now they were going who knows where. Suddenly Claire's eyes widened. "Massie! I'm supposed to be meeting her!"

Abby twisted the steering wheel and the car careened wildly around a turn, causing more cars to honk. "Call her or something," the actress commanded.

Claire reached down and grabbed her cell phone and speed-dialed Massie. "Massie?"

"Claire! Where are you?"

"Listen, I'm in Abby's car. She's taking me somewhere; I think it's urgent, but she hasn't explained yet. I don't have much time to talk but I promise that when this—whatever it is—is over I'll call you back—"

"_What?_" Massie sounded just as confused as Claire felt.

"I don't know, okay? Just do whatever, don't worry about me, I'll be fine, I promise I'll call you back later!" Claire hung up without saying goodbye and turned her phone off so that Massie couldn't call her again. Then she turned to face Abby. "Now tell me what is going on," Claire demanded.

"Okay." Abby took a deep breath and let it out, keeping her eyes on the road. "I can't take it anymore. I'm the one who caused this whole thing for Vanessa."

"Huh?" Claire was _still_ confused.

"Massie came over to Vanessa's last Sunday," Abby said. "But I told Massie that Vanessa cut herself. I don't know what I was thinking; I was angry and tired after acting. I don't know why I always have to take my anger out on Vanessa. She's so jealous of me, and I know it, and I know that's the reason she cut herself but—" Abby glanced over at Claire, uncertainty in her brown eyes.

"Go on," Claire prompted gently.

"But I just liked having that power over her." Abby's voice was filled with pain. "It's like I don't have enough power over myself, so I had to be able to control someone." She glanced down and then jerked her gaze back to the road when the car swerved dangerously. "But that's not the point," the actress went on. "The point is, I was the one who made Vanessa want to kill herself. Because she thought she was so done when Massie found out about her cutting. You know how Massie's the most popular girl in your school. And she walked out on Vanessa when she found out." Abby looked at Claire again. "And now I feel guilty."

Claire nodded. Now she finally knew why Vanessa had wanted to kill herself; she had never gotten a chance to talk to Vanessa about it. "I think I understand," Claire said slowly.

Abby gave her a small smile. "So you'll come with me?"

"You still never said where," Claire reminded her.

"Oh. We're going to California."

"_What?!_"

"Calm down." Abby accelerated the car; they were on the highway now. "Just for the long weekend. I have to find a way to get Vanessa out of rehab. I owe her at least that much."

Claire nodded again, but she still had one question. "So why do I have to come?"

"Because you're Vanessa's closest friend," Abby said truthfully. Then her eyes sparkled. "And I didn't want to go on the plane alone."


	36. Chapter 36

BEL AIR, CALIFORNIA

THE BOYD MANSION

Saturday, September 8th

9:14 am

Claire felt strangely nervous as she stood with Abby on the front step of the Boyds' mansion. The two of them had landed in Los Angeles the previous night and had stayed at a hotel until morning, because Abby said that her parents would never talk to them in the middle of the night. That morning, they had gotten a taxi to bring them here.

Having never packed, Claire was wearing the same pink tee shirt and jeans from yesterday, except the jeans were rolled up to the knees in the California heat. Abby was outfit-repeating, too, but she still looked fabulous in her knee-length cream baby-doll dress.

Claire had had a chance to call her mother from the plane, and Judi Lyons was furious with Claire for leaving on such short notice, but she said that they would talk about it once Claire got back.

Claire hoped Vanessa knew what a sacrifice she was making for her.

Abby rang the doorbell, and a maid in a prim black uniform opened it. "Oh, Ahbby!" she said in an indiscernible accent. "I did not know you vood be returning so soon! Come in, bring your friend! I vill get your moddher, yes?"

"Please," Abby replied as she and Claire stepped into the grand foyer.

The maid bustled upstairs, calling, "Mrs. Boyd!"

As Massie had taught her, Claire tried not to look too impressed, but the Boyd's mansion was nothing but opulent and, well, impressive. "Nice house," Claire whispered to Abby.

Abby chuckled. "Thanks."

Then Abby's mother descended the stairs, the maid right behind her. "Shall I get drinks?" the woman offered.

Delia Boyd nodded. Then she exclaimed, "Abby!" She enveloped her daughter in a brief hug.

Abby was stiff in her mother's arms. "Mom," she said flatly.

"What brings you back so soon? Who's this?" Delia was smiling brightly, oblivious to Abby's tenseness.

"This is Claire Lyons." Abby introduced Claire. "She's…a friend of mine."

"Oh, darling," Delia gushed.

Claire wasn't exactly sure what she meant. When Abby's mother pulled her into a hug, she tried not to gag on the woman's heavy perfume.

"So why are you back so soon? Where's your luggage?"

Abby looked at her mother darkly, and the woman finally swept the cheery look from her face.

"Abby, dear, what is it?" Delia inquired.

"We need to talk," Abby stated.

Delia sighed. "Then let's at least sit down."

The three of them headed to the living room, which was through a wide doorway. Delia set herself primly down on the loveseat, Abby plopped down on a cushy armchair, and Claire was left to perch herself on the long sofa. The furniture was so immaculate that Claire was afraid to put half of her butt on it.

"Okay," Abby began, looking her mother in the eye. "We need to talk about Vanessa."

Claire could see Delia stiffen. "What about Vanessa?" the woman asked.

"Vanessa does not need to be in rehab," Abby declared. "She is perfectly sane and healthy."

"She tried to commit suicide," Delia countered coldly. "You call that sane and healthy?"

Abby sighed and didn't say anything for a long while. Claire shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. "It was my fault," Abby finally began, "that Vanessa tried to kill herself."

"What?" Delia Boyd looked at her daughter quizzically.

"It was my fault all along," Abby went on, "that Vanessa cut herself."

Delia looked at Abby like she had grown a pair of antlers out of her head. "How?"

Abby cast her gaze to her lap and said, "I was the one who made Vanessa start cutting herself. She was jealous of me, because she had always wanted to be an actress. But I was the one who got the job from that audition; I was too selfish to get Vanessa an audition, too. And ever since then, Vanessa has hated me. She has felt like nothing in comparison to me. That was why she was cutting herself. She couldn't prove to herself that she was alive, not when I overpowered her in everything. But slitting her wrists made her feel like she was living, because she was feeling pain."

Claire was surprised that Abby knew all of this. A bubble of anger welled up in her—how could Abby have known this and not done something about it? Did she _want_ Vanessa to go on cutting herself? Then she remembered what Abby had said in the car. _I just liked having that power over her. It's like I don't have enough power over myself, so I had to be able to control someone._

Delia was still staring at her daughter. "Is this true?" A tinge of pain darkened her voice.

Abby closed her eyes and nodded.

"Then—" Delia hesitated before continuing, "How did you make her want to…kill herself?"

Abby's eyes opened. "She had her friend Massie over at the apartment. But I revealed her cutting to Massie. And Vanessa thought her life was over, because Massie walked out on her after that. And she thought Massie was going to tell everyone, and it would be the end of her."

Delia seemed to mull over this for a few seconds. "How is this supposed to prove that Vanessa doesn't need to be in rehab?" she questioned.

Abby opened and closed her mouth. Claire shifted in her seat; she could tell Abby couldn't think of anything to say. How _was_ this supposed to prove that Vanessa didn't need to be in rehab?

"Mom," Abby finally said. "If you would just go visit her or something, you'd see. I'm sure you didn't take much time with Vanessa when she arrived here. You just shipped her off to rehab."

Delia's eyes narrowed, but she didn't say anything.

"Have you even talked to the counselors?" Abby went on. "They'd probably say Vanessa was absolutely fine if you _actually_ called them."

Delia shook her head slowly. "I'm not allowed to contact Vanessa's counselors until her stay is over."

"And how long might that be?" Abby asked somewhat derisively.

"Four months."

"What!?" Abby screeched.

Claire stiffened. "Don't yell so loudly," Abby's mother admonished her.

"Vanessa _does not_ need four months of rehab," Abby stated. "If you would just go visit her, you would see that. You would see that, thanks to Claire, she is absolutely fine!" Abby gestured at Claire.

Delia fixed her eyes on Claire, who shifted nervously under her gaze. "Are you the girl who saved Vanessa?" Delia suddenly asked.

"Yeah," Claire mumbled, nodding. She looked back at Abby's mother.

Claire would have given a "thank you" if she were talking to the person who had stopped her daughter from killing herself. But Delia Boyd's cold gaze shifted back to Abby after five seconds.

"You want me to visit Vanessa." Delia didn't say it like a question.

"_Yes_," Abby replied.

"Okay then. Let's go."


	37. Chapter 37

OJAI MENTAL INSTITUTE

BEDROOM 13

Saturday, September 8th

10:03 am

"Vanessa Boyd?" The intercom buzzed as Vanessa was laying on her bed, reading _Pride and Prejudice_ that morning. Four days and she was almost done with the book. There wasn't much to do in her room except read, considering she was computer-less, television-less, radio-less, and they had confiscated her phone on the second day. But the low-tech-ness didn't really bother her. _Pride and Prejudice_, which she had gotten from the institute library, was pretty interesting.

"Yeah?" Vanessa said to the speaker on her wall.

"We have a few visitors for you in the lobby," the intercom told her. "Would you like to come down?"

Vanessa put her bookmark in the book and wondered whom it could be that was coming to visit her. But four days of "therapy" with Emma Starr (who used air quotes whenever she said the word) had left her much more open-minded and well, non-suspicious. "Sure," Vanessa told the intercom. "I'll be down in a minute."

She went over to her dresser and swiped a coat of gloss over her mouth. Straightening her cotton dark blue tank top and pleated jean skirt and slipping her feet into her black ballet flats, Vanessa headed out the door. She usually stayed in her room until eleven, when she met Emma in their clearing in the woods for "therapy." Then they would get lunch at one and head downtown to do something or another that Emma had planned out. At four in the evening, Vanessa met with the tutor, Mrs. Thornton, to do some schoolwork so she didn't fall behind. Dinner was always at six, and then Vanessa could do whatever she wanted until lights out at ten. She actually kind of liked it at Ojai, but she knew it would get tedious after four months, which was how long her mother had planned for her to stay.

Visitors would make the day a little more interesting, though, for sure. Vanessa knew she couldn't be more right about that when she saw whom it was waiting for her at the front desk.

Claire, Abby, and her mother.

"Vanessa!" Claire's face lit up when she saw her, and Vanessa smiled back.

"Claire! I'm so glad to see you. Are you here for Labor Day weekend?" Vanessa hurried to her friend and gave her a hug. Without waiting for an answer to her question, she went on, "They took my phone on the second day. I felt so guilty at telling you to call me back and then not having my cell."

"Oh," Claire said, pulling back from the hug. "Well, I forgive you."

"Thanks." Vanessa laughed a little. Then she turned to her other two visitors. "Abby. Mom."

Abby looked at her younger sister. "Vanessa," she began, "I want to apologize. I know this sounds corny, but I want to apologize for all the terrible things I've done to you over the years."

Vanessa blinked at Abby, not believing her ears. Her mouth dropped open a centimeter. "Uh, did I hear you right?" she finally asked.

"I'm sorry." Abby's brown eyes were filled with sincerity.

Vanessa smiled gently at her older sister. She could tell that Abby was being honest, and decided that she would trust her for the time being. "Apology accepted," she said graciously.

Abby's face lit up in a grin. "Okay. Now, to business. Claire and I are here to convince Mom that you're ready to get out of rehab."

"Really?" Vanessa felt her heart skip a beat.

Claire nodded. "Yep."

"Oh my god, thank you!" Vanessa gushed, feeling happiness flow through her. She had a chance to get out, three months and three weeks early!

"Wait a minute," Abby said, holding up a finger. "We haven't convinced her yet." She glared at Delia.

Vanessa and Abby's mother had been standing there with her arms folded across her chest, glaring at her daughters and Claire. Now she spoke. "Prove it to me, Vanessa, and _maybe_ I'll let you come home early."

Vanessa wanted to point out that she wanted to go back to Westchester, not home to the family's mansion, but she decided to stay quiet about that. Back to Bel Air was better than staying here, no matter how nice Ojai was. Instead, she said, "Okay. How are we going to do this? You wanna talk to my counselor?"

"No." Abby answered for their mother. "She wants to talk to you."

"You do?" Vanessa raised her eyebrows.

"I do?" Delia sounded genuinely confused.

Abby nodded confidently. "Yes." She stepped forward, taking her mother's shoulder in one hand and Vanessa's in the other.

Claire watched as Abby steered them towards the door. The actress pushed them outside and closed the doors behind them, saying, "Don't come back in until you've reached an agreement!" Then she sauntered back to Claire.

"Is this going to work?" Claire questioned.

Abby gave Claire a small smile. "Well, we'll have to wait and see, won't we?"


	38. Chapter 38

OJAI MENTAL INSTITUTE

OUTSIDE THE FRONT DOOR

Saturday, September 8th

10:07 am

Vanessa stood face-to-face with her mother under the blazing sun outside the front door of the Ojai Mental institute, wondering what on earth Abby could want the two of them to talk about.

But Delia Boyd, apparently, did not have the same problem. "Abby says she was the one who caused you all your…problems," Delia stated. "She says you don't need rehab."

Vanessa's mouth dropped open, and she pressed her fingers to it, smearing her gloss. A thousand questions raced through her head. _Abby had told her mother? Really? Why was everything going so well all of a sudden? Was this something Abby had planned to get her hopes up and then send them crashing down again?_ As Vanessa took a deep breath, her optimistic side spoke up. _Trust it._

"No," Vanessa told her mother. "I don't need rehab. But you forced me here, anyways." She did her best to keep the contempt out of her voice and thought she succeeded rather well.

Delia's eyes narrowed slightly. "So. Convince me. Why don't you need rehab?"

_Trust it. Trust,_ the optimistic voice echoed. Vanessa swallowed the nervousness in her throat, briefly wondering why she was nervous in the first place. "I used to be a person who needed to be sent to a mental institute," she began. "I cut my wrist. I tried to kill myself. I hope Abby and Claire explained all of that to you?"

"To some extent," Delia replied.

"But I changed," Vanessa went on. "When Claire saved me from jumping off the observation tower that day, I changed." She took a deep breath and looked at her mother's nonchalant face. Delia could have been listening to her daughter describe her latest pedicure and not looked any different. But Vanessa kept talking. "I used to think the world hated me. But Claire proved to me that there was at least one person out there who cared. And then I met more. Claire's friend, Massie, became my friend, too."

Suddenly Vanessa remembered how Massie and Claire had told her about trying to get Abby to convince her parents, and realized that she had forgotten that and she had been stupid to be skeptical of Abby. If she hadn't changed, she was doing a very good job of acting like she was. And even though Abby Boyd was an actress, Vanessa had a gut feeling that Abby's recent good deeds were genuine.

"And Abby," Vanessa said, boring into her mother with her violet eyes. "Abby's proven to me that she cares, too."

But Delia's face stayed impassive. "So you have people who care for you. How does this relate to not needing rehab?"

Vanessa felt a tinge of despondency inside her. "I have people who care for me," she reiterated. "Don't you get it? I don't hate the world anymore. I don't want to kill myself; I don't even want to cut myself anymore." She held up her arms, showing her mother the thin white scars on her wrists. But there were no scabs. In truth, Vanessa hadn't cut herself a single time since Claire had saved her on the observation tower.

"Okay, so you changed," Delia said. "That doesn't mean you can't change back. They always say that people who attempt suicide are liable to attempt it again." Her voice was unemotional as she stated the fact.

"Mom, I am not going to try to kill myself again! I promise you!" Vanessa said this with every ounce of sincerity in her. She was feeling strangely desperate, like she had to convince her mother _now._ Tears welled up in her eyes, and her mother's face blurred in her vision.

But Delia Boyd was not convinced. "How do I know you'll keep that promise?" she spat, suddenly angry.

Vanessa felt the tears overflow and stream down her face. "You have to trust me!" She glared into her mother's dark eyes. "I learned to trust, Mother, but if you can't—" Vanessa half-choked on the words she knew she had to say. "—If you can't, _you're_ _worse than I am_!"

Delia Boyd looked as if she had been struck across the face. And in a way, she had.

Vanessa's tears blazed hot trails on her cheeks and blurred her vision, but she didn't let her gaze falter. She repeated her words in a whisper. "If you can't learn to trust, you're worse than I am."

Suddenly Delia Boyd crumpled. "Oh, god," she murmured, the realization bringing tears to her eyes.

Vanessa put her hand on her mother's shoulder. She was silent for an interminable moment as her mother' face became just as tear-streaked as her own. Finally, she whispered, "Mom, please trust me."

Delia's voice trembled, but she kept her eyes on Vanessa's. "Okay."

_If this were a sappy family drama_, Vanessa thought, _Mom would hug me and we'd totally make up._

But it wasn't a sappy family drama, and the two of them stood there with the California sun beating down on them until a man stopped his car outside the door and got out, giving them a quizzical look.

As the man let himself in the institute, still staring at them as if they were a freak show, Delia laughed. "He thinks we're crazy," she said.

"Maybe we are," Vanessa replied. And she couldn't help but crack a smile.


	39. Chapter 39 Version 1

**Jan. 1, 2009**

**Okay, I have to do an author's note for this one because i need to explain the three versions of Chapter 39: i have three alternate endings to TMOS. the first one is the original, and the second and third versions are me writing on a whim with new ideas. Idk which one is my favorite and which one i would officially publish if in some impossible situation i were really publishing TMOS. but here's version one, and go to Chapter 39 version 2 for version 2 and Chapter 39 version 3 for version 3. wait, what do i think you are, snails? you are my very intelligent readers and you would definitely have figured that out for yourself. oh well. i'm too lazy to go back and erase it. lol, so enjoy my 3 alternate endings! --MC**

* * *

HEART ATTACK PINK

_FREEDOM'S WIND_ WRAP PARTY

Friday, September 21st

10:52 pm

As the _Freedom's Wind _wrap party drew to a close almost two weeks later, Vanessa felt nothing but blissfully happy.

By Labor Day morning, Vanessa, Claire, Abby, and Emma Starr were flying back to Westchester. Delia had agreed to let her go back and live with Morgan again, as long as she kept up weekly "visits" with Emma for four months. They shipped Dr. Cairn back to wherever he had come from and gave Emma his room at the Ritz…after cleaning it up, of course.

Vanessa had eased back into school as smoothly as she eased under her satin comforter every night. Massie and the Pretty Committee, who had enthusiastically welcomed her back, had offered to fabricate a story as to why she had been gone for a week, but Vanessa had declined. She had told the truth to anyone who asked, and she had felt strangely good doing it.

Abby had invited the entire Pretty Committee (including Vanessa, who was now an official member) to the wrap party for her movie, so, of course, for the last week, they had fretted over outfits and dates. Massie invited Chris, Claire was bringing Cam, and Alicia and Emilio were going together. Dylan had worked up the nerve to invite Kemp, who had excitedly agreed, and Massie had "invited" Derrington, knowing he would take Kristen as his date.

Vanessa herself had nervously asked Julian LaCursia if he wanted to go with her. Julian had inquired about why she had been gone for a week, but had seemed put-off when she told him about her suicide attempt and stint in the mental institute. When he agreed to go to the wrap party with her, though, Julian had confessed that he had decided he didn't care if she was suicidal or mentally insane.

The wrap party had been an amazing night, but after hours of dancing to the DJ's wild music, Vanessa was more than tired. She was sitting in a chair by the wall of the hip bar, Heart Attack Pink, waiting for Julian to come back with her virgin colada. But when her hot blond date appeared before her empty handed, she asked, "What's going on?"

"Didn't you hear?" Julian asked back. "JoJo's going to be singing live in three minutes. They're going to be the last two songs of the evening; we gotta dance!"

Vanessa's face broke into a smile as she saw the singer stepping up to the microphone on the stage. Julian extended a hand and Vanessa let him pull her up. They joined the many other couples heading for the dance floor.

Guitar notes grumbled through the speakers as JoJo and her band started up the energetic _Freedom's Wind_ theme song, "If I Were Free." For a full four minutes and three seconds, she and Julian moved to the beat, gyrating with the rest of the dancers.

Then slow drumbeats and a synthesized orchestra signaled the beginning of a new song. Vanessa recognized this one immediately, as JoJo began to sing,

_You're beautiful, but you don't know_

_Can't see what's there inside your soul_

She had heard this song all those days ago, that first day when she had lifted the knife to her wrist and thought better.

_Always feeling like you're not good enough_

_You wish you could be someone else_

_Sometimes you just can't see yourself _

_But I can see just who you are, who you are…_

Julian put his arms around her waist, slowly rocking her to the beat of the music. She smiled up at him; the floor was clearing and a few couples remained, but she felt like they were the only two people in the world.

_You're exceptional the way you are_

_Don't need to change for nobody _

_You're incredible, anyone can see that _

_When will you believe that you are_

_Nothing but exceptional?_

Vanessa rested her head on Julian's shoulder. The scent of his cologne tickled her nostrils, and she smiled. She hugged him around the waist as they swayed.

_You never think you measure up_

_Never smart or cool or pretty enough_

_Always feeling different from all the rest, ooh_

_You feel so out of place, you think you don't fit in_

_I think you're perfect in the skin you're in_

_You're just perfect just how you are, just how you are…_

As JoJo's thick voice crooned out the chorus again, Vanessa knew that every word was true. This song, "Exceptional," could have been her anthem.

_If you could see the one I see when I see you_

_You'd know how lucky you are to be you_

_I see through into you, ooh…_

_And you are…_

The music slowed down, and Vanessa felt Julian's fingers under her chin. He tilted her head up and gently pressed his lips to hers.

_You're exceptional the way you are_

_Don't need to change for nobody _

_You're incredible, anyone can see that _

_When will you believe that…_

JoJo paused for a moment, and the music stopped. Then she cued her band again and let her voice loose.

_You a-a-are…!_

_You're exceptional the way you are_

_Don't need to change for no-obody-y-y _

_You're incredible, anyone can see tha-a-a-a-a-at _

_When will you believe that_

_You a-are_

_Nothing but exceptional…?_

_I believe it now, _Vanessa thought. As the song faded out and the dancers trickled off of the floor, Abby joined JoJo on the stage. The director of the movie held the microphone and said, "Let's get another round of applause for our stars, Joanna Levesque and Abby Boyd!"

Abby, JoJo, and the director put their arms around each other as photographers' cameras flashed and the partygoers clapped. Vanessa saw Abby's eyes catch hers, and she smiled back at her sister.

Vanessa glanced around the bar and saw the Pretty Committee and their dates getting ready to leave. When Claire saw her looking their way, she waved at Vanessa.

Vanessa turned back to Julian. "Let's go," she said, and he nodded and followed as she headed towards her friends. Vanessa took a deep breath and smiled. The shooting of Abby's movie, _Freedom's Wind_, might be over, but Vanessa knew that her freedom was only just beginning.


	40. Chapter 39 Version 2

THE MONTADOR

APARTMENT 713

Monday, September 10th

3:13 am

By Labor Day morning, Vanessa, Claire, Abby, and Emma Starr were flying back to Westchester. Delia had agreed to let her go back and live with Morgan again, as long as she kept up weekly "visits" with Emma for four months. They shipped Dr. Cairn back to wherever he had come from and gave Emma his room at the Ritz…after cleaning it up, of course.

Abby and Vanessa had returned to their aunt's apartment in the Montador by that afternoon, and Vanessa was unpacking in her room while Abby made a mysterious phone call.

Just as Vanessa closed her dresser drawer, stuffed her suitcase in the closet, and flopped down on her bed, Abby strolled into the room. "Vanessa," she said calmly.

"Yeah?" Vanessa sat up as Abby plopped down on the bed next to her.

The actress looked her sister in the eye. "Do you still want to be an actress?"

Vanessa was puzzled and she chewed on her bottom lip. That was a good question; she hadn't thought about it for a while. _Did _she still want to be an actress? She had been doing well with her tutor at Ojai, but Vanessa had never really thought she would have a career that required intensive education. Wait, scratch that. Ever since she was eleven years old, she had never thought about a career at all. But she was only fifteen; she had two years until college, and even then she didn't necessarily have to choose a career right away.

Then she looked at Abby, and Vanessa thought about how amazing her sister's life as an actress was. Sure, there was the annoying media and the pressure to always look perfect, but Abby got to appear in movies and portray the stories of other people.

"Yeah," Vanessa finally said to her sister. "I guess I do."

Abby's face lit up in an almost-maniacal grin. "Then I have good news for you!" She bounced up and down on Vanessa's bed.

"What?"

"Okay, I just called my director, right?" Abby looked at Vanessa eagerly.

"Yeah…." Vanessa didn't see where this was going.

"And I explained your whole story to him, starting from when I 'stole' your job when I was thirteen." Abby used air-quotes around "stole."

Vanessa furrowed her brow. "Why? Why does he need to know?"

Abby ignored the question. "And then I asked him if you could take my role in _Freedom's Wind_!" She air clapped, waiting for Vanessa's reaction.

Feeling her jaw drop about a mile, Vanessa stared at her sister until Abby thought maybe Vanessa wasn't going to like it as much as Abby thought she would. Finally, Vanessa managed, "Oh. My. God!"

"So you'll take it?" Abby's face lit up again.

"Yes!" Vanessa exclaimed. Then she sputtered, "But—but why?"

"I'm on a benevolence spree," Abby replied. "I just thought that you should be rewarded for how far you've come."

Finally Vanessa felt the happiness swirl around inside of her. She bounced on the bed like a little kid as she asked, "Is it going to work out? What about all the scenes you shot already?"

Abby shook her head, still smiling. "My director says that if you work hard enough, they can still get everything done on time."

"Oh my god," Vanessa said again. "This is amazing. Thank you. Really." She fixed her amethyst eyes on her sister's brown ones, giddiness overflowing her heart.

Abby grinned. "No problem."

HEART ATTACK PINK

_FREEDOM'S WIND_ WRAP PARTY

Friday, September 21st

10:52 pm

As the _Freedom's Wind _wrap party drew to a close almost two weeks later, Vanessa felt nothing but blissfully happy.

Vanessa had worked her butt off getting all of the scenes in _Freedom's Wind_ done in time. Day in and day out, it was acting, acting, acting, but she couldn't have been happier doing it. Being an actress was what she truly loved, and the only hard part was showing up.

_Freedom's Wind_, Vanessa decided, was her perfect debut movie. It was a family drama about a teenage girl, Alyssa, whose father was killed, causing her mother to spiral into a hole of alcoholism. The mother and daughter moved from New York City to a tiny town in Iowa, and the tornado that taught them so much about life. It was a rather complicated story, but the director told Vanessa that she had done a spectacular job as Alyssa. And unlike Abby, she really got along with Joanna Levesque, who played the pregnant teenager, Miranda, who told Alyssa not to throw away her life.

Vanessa had questioned whether the movie would sell as well with her as the lead rather than Abby, but the publicity people devised a scheme where Abby would reveal just enough of they true reason she had given the role to Vanessa so that the viewers would be touched and want to see the movie even more. _Freedom's Wind_ was sure to become a success.

Vanessa and Abby had invited the Pretty Committee to the wrap party for the movie, so, of course, for the last week, they had fretted over outfits and dates. Massie invited Chris, Claire was bringing Cam, and Alicia and Emilio were going together. Dylan had worked up the nerve to invite Kemp, who had excitedly agreed, and Massie had "invited" Derrington, knowing he would take Kristen as his date.

Vanessa herself had nervously asked Julian LaCursia if he wanted to go with her at the last soccer game. Julian had inquired about why she hadn't been at school for so long, and he had seemed put-off when she told him about her suicide attempt and stint in the mental institute. Not even the fact that she was going to be a famous actress had seemed to sway him.

But when he agreed to go to the wrap party with her, Julian had confessed that he had decided he didn't care if she was suicidal or a celebrity.

The wrap party had been an amazing night, but after hours of dancing to the DJ's wild music, Vanessa was more than exhausted. She was sitting in a chair by the wall of the hip bar, Heart Attack Pink, waiting for Julian to come back with her virgin colada. But when her hot blond date appeared before her empty handed, she asked, "What's going on?"

"Didn't you hear?" Julian asked back. "JoJo's going to be singing live in three minutes. They're going to be the last two songs of the evening; we gotta dance!"

Vanessa's face broke into a smile as she saw the singer stepping up to the microphone on the stage. Julian extended a hand and Vanessa let him pull her up. They joined the many other couples heading for the dance floor.

Guitar notes grumbled through the speakers as JoJo and her band started up the energetic _Freedom's Wind_ theme song, "If I Were Free." For a full four minutes and three seconds, she and Julian moved to the beat, gyrating with the rest of the dancers.

Then slow drumbeats and a synthesized orchestra signaled the beginning of a new song. Vanessa recognized this one immediately, as JoJo began to sing,

_You're beautiful, but you don't know_

_Can't see what's there inside your soul_

She had heard this song all those days ago, that first day when she had lifted the knife to her wrist and thought better of it.

_Always feeling like you're not good enough_

_You wish you could be someone else_

_Sometimes you just can't see yourself _

_But I can see just who you are, who you are…_

Julian put his arms around her waist, slowly rocking her to the beat of the music. She smiled up at him; the floor was clearing and a few couples remained, but she felt like they were the only two people in the world.

_You're exceptional the way you are_

_Don't need to change for nobody _

_You're incredible, anyone can see that _

_When will you believe that you are_

_Nothing but exceptional?_

Vanessa rested her head on Julian's shoulder. The scent of his cologne tickled her nostrils, and she smiled. She hugged him around the waist as they swayed.

_You never think you measure up_

_Never smart or cool or pretty enough_

_Always feeling different from all the rest, ooh_

_You feel so out of place, you think you don't fit in_

_I think you're perfect in the skin you're in_

_You're just perfect just how you are, just how you are…_

As JoJo's thick voice crooned out the chorus again, Vanessa knew that every word was true. This song, "Exceptional," could have been her anthem.

_If you could see the one I see when I see you_

_You'd know how lucky you are to be you_

_I see through into you, ooh…_

_And you are…_

The music slowed down, and Vanessa felt Julian's fingers under her chin. He tilted her head up and gently pressed his lips to hers.

_You're exceptional the way you are_

_Don't need to change for nobody _

_You're incredible, anyone can see that _

_When will you believe that…_

JoJo paused for a moment, and the music stopped. Then she cued her band again and let her voice loose.

_You a-a-are…!_

_You're exceptional the way you are_

_Don't need to change for no-obody-y-y _

_You're incredible, anyone can see tha-a-a-a-a-at _

_When will you believe that_

_You a-are_

_Nothing but exceptional…?_

_I believe it now, _Vanessa thought. As the song faded out and the dancers trickled off of the floor, JoJo beckoned for Vanessa to join her on the stage. She left Julian and stepped onto the raised platform as the director of the movie held the microphone and said, "Let's get another round of applause for our stars, Joanna Levesque and Vanessa Boyd!"

JoJo looped one arm around Vanessa as photographers' cameras flashed and the partygoers clapped. Vanessa saw Abby's eyes catch hers, and she smiled back at her sister.

Glancing over the crowd applauding her, Vanessa took a deep breath and smiled. The shooting of _Freedom's Wind_ might be over, but Vanessa had a feeling that her freedom was only just beginning.


	41. Chapter 39 Version 3

THE MONTADOR

APARTMENT 713

Monday, September 10th

3:13 am

By Labor Day morning, Vanessa, Claire, Abby, and Emma Starr were flying back to Westchester. Delia had agreed to let her go back and live with Morgan again, as long as she kept up weekly "visits" with Emma for four months. They shipped Dr. Cairn back to wherever he had come from and gave Emma his room at the Ritz…after cleaning it up, of course.

Abby and Vanessa had returned to their aunt's apartment in the Montador by that afternoon, and Vanessa was unpacking in her room while Abby made a mysterious phone call.

Just as Vanessa closed her dresser drawer, stuffed her suitcase in the closet, and flopped down on her bed, Abby strolled into the room. "Vanessa," she said calmly.

"Yeah?" Vanessa sat up as Abby plopped down on the bed next to her.

The actress looked her sister in the eye. "Do you still want to be an actress?"

Vanessa was puzzled and she chewed on her bottom lip. That was a good question; she hadn't thought about it for a while. _Did _she still want to be an actress? She was doing well in school and could probably get a more educated job after graduating high school and college…But the glitz and glam of being an actress had never really lost its appeal to her. Vanessa realized that she had never really thought about her life after high school. Did she still want to pursue acting?

Not knowing how to answer her sister's question, Vanessa said, "Maybe…"

Abby grinned mischievously. "Well, I have news for you!"

"What?"

"Okay, I just called my director, right?" Abby looked at Vanessa eagerly.

"Yeah…." Vanessa didn't see where this was going.

"And I explained your whole story to him, starting from when I 'stole' your job when I was thirteen." Abby used air-quotes around "stole."

Vanessa furrowed her brow. "Why? Why does he need to know?"

Abby ignored the question. "And then I asked him if you could take my role in _Freedom's Wind_! And he agreed!" She air clapped, waiting for Vanessa's reaction.

But Vanessa didn't know how to react. Her dark, cynical side told her that Abby was probably setting her up for something bad. But her optimistic side chimed that Abby had made a turn for the better and was sincerely offering up her role in _Freedom's Wind_ because she wanted Vanessa to have it.

"Why?" Vanessa finally asked Abby. "Why do you want me to take your role?"

Abby furrowed her brow, obviously puzzled by Vanessa's reaction. "Because," she replied. "I thought you would want it. And you deserve it for how far you've come."

Vanessa suddenly felt very dark. Abby was patronizing her _again._ Even though she didn't seem like she meant to, the actress was looking down on her younger sister and pitying her and giving her Abby's dregs of perfection. "No," Vanessa said stoically. She managed to keep the simmering anger out of her voice. But this time it wasn't hateful anger; it was righteous anger. "I deserve better than your hand-me-downs."

Abby's expression froze in one of shock. After a long moment, she whispered, "_What_?"

"Don't you realize?" Vanessa felt her voice crack, but her heart was strong and her eyes were dry. "All this time you've been patronizing me; lording your superiority over me. You don't need to do it anymore, not under a guise of being nice." Now she spoke firmly and confidently.

Abby's expression of shock melted into one of realization. "I haven't…" She sounded incredibly unsure. "Is that what you see this as? When I offer you my role in a movie you see it as patronizing?" She could have sounded offended, but she didn't. Abby only sounded insecure and confused.

"Yes." Vanessa nodded. "I don't want to make you angry at me. I don't want to go back to what was before." She paused and searched her sister's eyes. "But I don't want you to give everything to me and not let me do anything for myself, either."

Chewing on her bottom lip, Abby seemed to mull this over. "I think I understand," she finally said.

HEART ATTACK PINK

_FREEDOM'S WIND_ WRAP PARTY

Friday, September 21st

10:52 pm

As the _Freedom's Wind _wrap party drew to a close almost two weeks later, Vanessa felt nothing but blissfully happy.

By Labor Day morning, Vanessa, Claire, Abby, and Emma Starr were flying back to Westchester. Delia had agreed to let her go back and live with Morgan again, as long as she kept up weekly "visits" with Emma for four months. They shipped Dr. Cairn back to wherever he had come from and gave Emma his room at the Ritz…after cleaning it up, of course.

Vanessa had eased back into school as smoothly as she eased under her satin comforter every night. Massie and the Pretty Committee, who had enthusiastically welcomed her back, had offered to fabricate a story as to why she had been gone for a week, but Vanessa had declined. She had told the truth to anyone who asked, and she had felt strangely good doing it.

Abby had invited the entire Pretty Committee (including Vanessa, who was now an official member) to the wrap party for her movie, so, of course, for the last week, they had fretted over outfits and dates. Massie invited Chris, Claire was bringing Cam, and Alicia and Emilio were going together. Dylan had worked up the nerve to invite Kemp, who had excitedly agreed, and Massie had "invited" Derrington, knowing he would take Kristen as his date.

Vanessa herself had nervously asked Julian LaCursia if he wanted to go with her. Julian had inquired about why she had been gone for a week, but had seemed put-off when she told him about her suicide attempt and stint in the mental institute. When he agreed to go to the wrap party with her, though, Julian had confessed that he had decided he didn't care if she was suicidal or mentally insane.

The wrap party had been an amazing night, but after hours of dancing to the DJ's wild music, Vanessa was more than tired. She was sitting in a chair by the wall of the hip bar, Heart Attack Pink, waiting for Julian to come back with her virgin colada. But when her hot blond date appeared before her empty handed, she asked, "What's going on?"

"Didn't you hear?" Julian asked back. "JoJo's going to be singing live in three minutes. They're going to be the last two songs of the evening; we gotta dance!"

Vanessa's face broke into a smile as she saw the singer stepping up to the microphone on the stage. Julian extended a hand and Vanessa let him pull her up. They joined the many other couples heading for the dance floor.

Guitar notes grumbled through the speakers as JoJo and her band started up the energetic _Freedom's Wind_ theme song, "If I Were Free." For a full four minutes and three seconds, she and Julian moved to the beat, gyrating with the rest of the dancers.

Then slow drumbeats and a synthesized orchestra signaled the beginning of a new song. Vanessa recognized this one immediately, as JoJo began to sing,

_You're beautiful, but you don't know_

_Can't see what's there inside your soul_

She had heard this song all those days ago, that first day when she had lifted the knife to her wrist and thought better.

_Always feeling like you're not good enough_

_You wish you could be someone else_

_Sometimes you just can't see yourself _

_But I can see just who you are, who you are…_

Julian put his arms around her waist, slowly rocking her to the beat of the music. She smiled up at him; the floor was clearing and a few couples remained, but she felt like they were the only two people in the world.

_You're exceptional the way you are_

_Don't need to change for nobody _

_You're incredible, anyone can see that _

_When will you believe that you are_

_Nothing but exceptional?_

Vanessa rested her head on Julian's shoulder. The scent of his cologne tickled her nostrils, and she smiled. She hugged him around the waist as they swayed.

_You never think you measure up_

_Never smart or cool or pretty enough_

_Always feeling different from all the rest, ooh_

_You feel so out of place, you think you don't fit in_

_I think you're perfect in the skin you're in_

_You're just perfect just how you are, just how you are…_

As JoJo's thick voice crooned out the chorus again, Vanessa knew that every word was true. This song, "Exceptional," could have been her anthem.

_If you could see the one I see when I see you_

_You'd know how lucky you are to be you_

_I see through into you, ooh…_

_And you are…_

The music slowed down, and Vanessa felt Julian's fingers under her chin. He tilted her head up and gently pressed his lips to hers.

_You're exceptional the way you are_

_Don't need to change for nobody _

_You're incredible, anyone can see that _

_When will you believe that…_

JoJo paused for a moment, and the music stopped. Then she cued her band again and let her voice loose.

_You a-a-are…!_

_You're exceptional the way you are_

_Don't need to change for no-obody-y-y _

_You're incredible, anyone can see tha-a-a-a-a-at _

_When will you believe that_

_You a-are_

_Nothing but exceptional…?_

_I believe it now, _Vanessa thought. As the song faded out and the dancers trickled off of the floor, Abby joined JoJo on the stage. The director of the movie held the microphone and said, "Let's get another round of applause for our stars, Joanna Levesque and Abby Boyd!"

Abby, JoJo, and the director put their arms around each other as photographers' cameras flashed and the partygoers clapped. Vanessa saw Abby's eyes catch hers, and she smiled back at her sister.

Vanessa glanced around the bar and saw the Pretty Committee and their dates getting ready to leave. When Claire saw her looking their way, she waved at Vanessa.

Vanessa turned back to Julian. "Let's go," she said, and he nodded and followed as she headed towards her friends. Vanessa took a deep breath and smiled. The shooting of Abby's movie, _Freedom's Wind_, might be over, but Vanessa knew that her freedom was only just beginning.


End file.
